Long-Lived Lesbians Do It Digitally: Curve Apps For Tablets


Losing my app-virginity was harder and more painful than any other first-time experience.


Last time, this LLL confessed to a long-held fear of digital subscriptions, and shared the digital delight of learning to use CURVE’s website and online editions. So much for the easy stuff: this time, I’m going where I’ve never gone before, electronically speaking: I’m downloading an app!


I have a Kindle that was very exciting several years ago: the first Kindle Fire. So far, I’ve used this device for exactly one thing, and that is to read about half of one book. But now, with CURVE’s digital edition at my fingertips when I’m sitting at my computer, I thought: why not get CURVE to go? With CURVE on a mobile device, I could take CURVE to lunch, to dinner, even on dates.


The digital app, available from Amazon.com, was dialing my number, or so I thought. Lacy Stone was making a moue at me from a glossy cover, her expression silently suggesting, “Take me, I’m yours.”


But despite my enthusiasm, I had a wretched time with my first digital-app dalliance. Losing my app-virginity was much harder and more painful than any other first time experience. When I tried to order the app from good old Amazon, I couldn’t. I could get the link to the app, here: http://tinyurl.com/pnu2tj9 but there was no way for me to make the purchase: It was like a nightmare in which I’m trying to call for help on a phone with no buttons. Only this was real life, and it was entirely my fault.


Because I used to live overseas, and once registered my Kindle in the UK, the US-based Amazon Kindle store refused to have anything to do with me. Unable to make the purchase, I tried to get help via chat – and was transferred, and transferred, and transferred, and transferred between four different useless “people” whom I suspected of being robots.


In all, I endured a one-hour session of furiouser and furiouser “chat” with Amazon’s “help” function. Am I the only one who is reduced to screaming and swearing when interacting online with unhelpful strangers? In person I would never behave this way, but when separated by screens I can’t seem to stop expressing my impatience, though I notice that even typing “AUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH” in bold capitals, or writing “OMG” over and over again, has little effect on robots.


Finally, after a lot of fast typing of not-very-friendly chat, I got someone from Amazon to call me by telephone – and she sorted me out, helped me change my registration to US, and made things right again in my e-world. I then clicked on the link, bought the item with one click, and watched with pleasure as the cover of the current issue of CURVE downloaded onto my Kindle. There was Lacy, as charming as ever. She, if not I, was unruffled and lovely and ready for action.


Some first times, it turns out, are worth waiting for.


Next time: Comparing the Kindle version to the print edition.