LGBT self-help coach Gina Battye shares her thoughts on how to drop the mask.
We show up wearing different masks for different environments and situations we find ourselves in. Work, in business, relationships, socially, on the school run – you name it, we have a mask for it.
Authenticity on the school run? Unheard of. In business – rare. Socially? Maybe after a drink or three. Seriously, I can’t think of anywhere where I don’t see people wearing a mask.
We don’t want to look stupid, wrong, like a failure, an imposter or vulnerable in any way. So what do we do? We tweak how we present ourselves to protect, to fit in and to be accepted.
These masks originate from thought. From how we think.
Let me tell you what I know about thinking.
As soon as your conscious awareness identifies with the content of your thoughts, you start actively thinking. Processing. Making stories and attaching to the thoughts. When you start thinking in this way, you have engaged the ego. That thinking might be in the form of a judgement about yourself, the way you want to present yourself, the pattern of thinking that there is something wrong with you or that you are not good enough.
The social conditioning, old belief systems, judgements, the criticisms, labels you carry – all these build up layer upon layer to form your identity. Your identity is a culmination of all the things you have ‘acquired’ over the years that hide who you really are. And now, these layers drive the patterns of thought you have on a day to day basis.
As soon as you identify with thought, you are no longer who you really are and there is a filter of judgement from within. That’s not authentic, it’s not real and all it does is distance you from the real you.
Your thoughts limit you throughout the day and distance you from the real, authentic you that is inside.
When you let go of thought and let it drift off and when you let go of the patterns of your thinking, you reveal who you truly are. Your true personality.
Getting back to the stillness within, that is where the authenticity comes through.
From there you can only communicate truth. There is no possibility for judgement. From there everything is authentic.
Communicate from this still, profound place, for this is who you truly are.
I have noticed over the years that truly authentic people have it all together in terms of their thinking. They are aware of their thinking patterns and how to access the stillness inside and they communicate from their authentic, true self.
Here are 5 signs of a truly authentic person:
- They feel at peace within themselves
- They are calm, even under difficult circumstances or in demanding situations
- They are confident in all areas of their life – it quietly oozes out of their pores
- They walk into a room and have an inner power emanating from them – it is so real that others notice it.
- Life feels easy and in flow for them. They manifest easily and quickly. No effort. No striving.
Which of these do you recognise in others and which do you see in yourself?
When you drop the masks you wear and let your thoughts drift by (without connecting to them), you access that stillness inside of you.
This is where authenticity lies.
Communicate from this space and you will notice profound differences in all aspects of your life. Trust me.