Lindsay White, 28, and Veronica Lorraine May, 29, make music together in San Diego’s gayborhood Hillcrest as folk-pop duo, The Lovebirds.
Lindsay White, 28, and Veronica Lorraine May, 29, make music together in San Diego’s gayborhood Hillcrest as folk-pop duo, The Lovebirds.
How they met
Lindsay: We met each other through a local music promoter named Cathryn Beeks. I was working on putting together a band for my solo music.
Veronica: We were on the bill for some shows and we finally connected. Oddly enough I came to Lindsay’s Thanksgiving dinner years ago with my other girlfriend at the time. We were just friends and appreciated each other’s music.
Lindsay: I was newly married to a man at the time—we had been together since I was 18 years old. I loved my husband dearly but knew I wasn’t happy in the marriage. All signs pointed to lesbian. Through the wreckage of the divorce, I realized not only that I was gay, but that I was completely and totally in love with Veronica.
Making art together
Lindsay: We have an amazing songwriting partnership. We both have such unique songwriting styles, but somehow they mesh perfectly. Veronica is a fantastic musician, and I can bring it with the lyrics. She challenges me to be more dynamic musically, and I challenge her to spend time on her lyrics. We also work insanely hard on creating really interesting harmonies. Our songwriting partnership is the foundation of our romantic relationship, as well as a survival tool that we’ve been able to turn to in difficult times.
Veronica: We make music together and we color together. We also make fingerprint people. You get ink and stamp your finger onto a piece of paper and from there on out the creative sky is the limit. We also make short films together. We have a lot of great ideas for creative projects that may even be lucrative at some point. We are also in the process of creating our own language, just in case you were wondering if we were weirdos.
What’s different now as a couple
Lindsay: It’s so great to have Veronica to share my personal and musical journey with. I thought I was the weirdest person I’d ever met until I found her. We are careful to develop our individual hobbies and friendships so we don’t get stuck in a connected-at-the-hip rut, but when we are together, we have the most fun.
We also have what we call the “Bubble of Trust” where we are free to say whatever we are feeling without being judged for it. The best part of my day is at the end of the night when I curl up in her arms and just let all my muscles relax. It’s the safest place.
Veronica: Well, as a lesbian, your wardrobe doubles. You have someone to slow dance with. You have someone to picture as an old woman with wrinkles and dimples. The biggest perk: Someone to play rock paper scissors with. I think the biggest reason we work so well together is that we fell in love with each other’s art so long ago.
How they resolve differences
Lindsay: Therapy, of course! We always marvel at the fact we are still together since we’ve faced so much adversity. I’ve been through a divorce, she’s been hospitalized, and the list goes on and on.
The biggest issue we face is Veronica’s bipolar [disorder] because it can’t be worked through and left behind like any other problem. It will always be a factor at play in our relationship. We joke sometimes that there are three people in our relationship.
But I like to look at it like there are even more people in our relationship (our individual therapists, our couples therapist, her psychiatrist and all of our wonderfully supportive friends and family members). Those people are integral in the success of our relationship and we are just as grateful for them as we are for each other.
Veronica: Lindsay has been my lighthouse in so many different storms. She always guides me to safety. I have never met such a resilient woman and I really don’t think I ever will. She is patient and understanding. I can only hope to return that favor time and time again.