I don’t know who started it, Dr. Joyce Brothers or Dr. Ruth Wisenheimer maybe, certainly not Oprah Winfrey, although many people sometimes give her credit for it.
Anyhow, I remember when the older crew of love/sex/relationship advice-givers began recommending scheduling time for sex for couples who do too much. There was a huge outcry about the lack of spontaneity. I never thought the idea was so farfetched, but I don’t think I was having sex at the time. Or, at least I was not in any sort of committed relationship. And I definitely was not living in New York City.
Well, now all of those facts are true, and I totally get the scheduling time for sex thing, the actual looking at the calendar (we both have hard-bound calendars, how old-fashioned!) and picking a mutually convenient time for both of us.
It’s not easy to find that mutually convenient time, my gal and I both have so much going on. But we make certain that sex is regularly on the calendar! There is no reason for it not to be, just because we are busy or tired or, or, or.
“Ors “and “Buts” are how sex gets lost in relationships. Too busy or too tired. Interested, but I have a meeting or she has a headache, etc. Not that meetings and headaches and busyness don’t happen, they do. However, when those and more reasons become an excuse for not having sex — that becomes a problem.
Those folks who first suggested scheduling time for sex were really onto something: not only the importance of sex to in intimate relationship, but also spending time together without all the hassle of the workaday world and the entire globe weighing on your shoulders.
So, whatever you use to track time and dates — an iPad, Blackberry, iPhone, Google Calendar, iCal or an actual datebook — open it up and start scheduling!