My Favorite Ways to Run from the Heat

It’s a Hot, HOT summer in New York City.

This week in NY we’re suffering from heat that brings me back to my days in insufferable, congested Bombay.

Remember when it was December in NYC and coldcoldcold? I looked at my summer clothes and said, “Ha! When the hell it is ever warm enough to wear that?” It happens every year! Damn it! My weather memory doesn’t extend for more than two weeks. When the seasons change I’m just as surprised as I was when I was seven.

The most upsetting thing about modern air conditioning is that you relish in the chill but then inevitably have to go back outside. I actually don’t live in a place with air conditioning. In its place, a Vornado fan. The little gem creates a wind effect which causes every piece of paper in my apartment to go a’ floatin’. The tunnel of air is refreshing and the view in my window unblocked. On those days I’m smug.

This works when it is between seventy-five and ninety degrees. When it is ninety-one degrees and over ideaology wears thin. Discomfort creaps in. Then, my friends, I must find ways to survive.

Here is how I run (sprint) from the heat:

1. Stand or walk adjacent to any store or train exit to get wafts of cold air. (Essential survival strategy at the West 4th F/V and 59th Street A/C station.)

2. Sense memory exercises from acting class. “I’m in Antartica, the snow is falling. Lo, there is a polar bear. Look! I’m shivering so bad I can barely feel my hands.”

3. Before going back home where the fan will make things cooler only by blowing off the beads of sweat going down my back, I’ll stand in an air-conditioned store until I can gather courage.

4. Fro-yo has become the 4th meal of the day.

5. Large sun hat. I pretend that I’m Greta Garbo.

6. Plan my day based on where the good AC is.

7. Arrange any and all office visits and work hours to the middle of the day. Corporate hell-holes always blast the AC (otherwise, the sad-sack employees would quit.)

8. Agree to do errands and favors that bring me to a well air conditioned place.

9. Ice cubes, ice cubes, icecubes.


Blogger Bio: Lauren LoGiudice is an actor, model, performance artist, writer, host, producer, improv comedian and amateur chef. A native New Yorker—born in Queens, now living out in Brooklyn—who likes to shake the dust of the outer boroughs off to travel the world, living and working in places that range from India to Mexico to Italy. Part of the slim minority who does not like bacon, potato chips or milk chocolate. Often seen in farmer’s markets trolling for and the latest weird vegetable. Eats her greens. (