A reader takes her first steps into the world of lesbianism.
Dear Hot Stuff,
I'm writing to ask for some advice about my first steps into the world of lesbianism. I'm not going to call this a coming out because I don't intend on 'coming out'. I have a boyfriend, but I just know that I'm somehow incomplete in my relationship with him.
I once dated a girl, it only lasted a month but I think that it must have awakened something in me that I've never really been able to put back to sleep.
It's making me quite sad, the whole thing! What could you suggest?
Charlie from Cramlington
Dear Curious from Cramlington,
I suggest first and foremost NOT WORRYING about it! So you have these feelings, you don't know what's causing them and you don't really know what to do with them. What is worrying or sadness going to achieve? Nothing.
It's very simple, you need to get out there and DO. You must explore these feelings in order to decide what it is that you want. It could be that you 'try' and it's not you. It could be that you try and fall head over heels with the first girl to walk past.
What should you understand by 'try'? Well, this first intrepid dive into your, until now hidden, feelings, could take pretty much any form you want. If you're only feeling comfortable with popping out on a Friday evening with a homo mate, then only do that. I'm sure if you speak to any gay or lesbian friend that they would be only too happy to accompany you for these first scary steps. If you're feeling more adventurous, try chatting to a girl at a bar, maybe go in for that first snog… You could create an online dating account and see what happens. You could try buying DIVA on a regular basis (hint hint!) and get jiggy with lesbian culture before you get jiggy in the sack.
But here in the world of lady-love we don't actually tend to hate men. Patriarchal culture, misogyny and sexism – yes, but individual men – well, they're ok. Don't hurt your boyfriend. Maybe you should contemplate speaking to him honestly about your feelings.
But don't keep these feelings inside any longer, Curious. It's like when you've got wind, keeping it in gives you a bad tummy. It's just unhealthy. Get out there and let your hair down.
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