PHOTOS: CHARLTON INIJE, INIJE PHOTOGRAPHY
As if sharing their lives on reality TV wasn’t enough, Shawntae Harris-DuPart and Jesseca Harris-Dupart, AKA Da Brat and Judy, have written a new book together, The Way Love Goes:
A Guide to Building a “Beaurtiful” and Everlasting Relationship, about both their profound love and how others might find the same.
Although these women likely need no introduction, Da Brat is a rap artist, writer, television and radio personality, actress, and executive music and television producer, and Judy, a highly successful entrepreneur and businesswoman, is the CEO and founder of Kaleidoscope Hair Products. The pair stars in We TV’s Brat Loves Judy.
Amazingly, considering her life now, Da Brat had no plans to ever come out of the closet. That is until she met Judy. From the moment they met in 2017, it was clear there was something there. But nothing became of that moment until they saw one another again years later.
And in March 2020, Da Brat and Judy came out publicly as a couple. A few months into their marriage, Da Brat was pregnant, and True Legend Harris-Dupart was welcomed into the world on July 6, 2023. It’s a complicated story of near misses but also the simplest story of all: love always finds a way.
The Way Love Goes is both a memoir and a guide to relationships. It is both touching and funny. And it is both warm and brutally honest. It’s hard not to be charmed by such openness and by their story of a love that almost wasn’t. And a love that most only dream of to boot.
That love and devotion really shines through when speaking to the pair. Da Brat logs on first and when Judy joins, Da Brat coos, “I missed you.”
“Awwww,” Judy says, her eyes smiling. Throughout the call, Da Brat defers to Judy, “Beautiful, do you want to talk?” who then happily chimes in.
The charm is palpable too, with Da Brat breaking into song just moments into our call when I mention that I recently saw Billy Ocean in concert.
“Caribbean Queen,” she sang. “Now we’re sharing the same dream. And our hearts, they beat as one. No more love on the run…” Here’s a look into that conversation and what it is about Da Brat and Judy that always leaves viewers and readers alike wanting more.
Curve: What has it meant to you to come out in the first place, let alone be so out now about your love? That was a big deal when you made that move?
DA BRAT: It was absolutely a big deal for me. Before Judy, I had never met anyone to make
me feel the way she made me feel. And I just wanted to tell the world. I had never wanted to tell anybody before. I was okay with being in the closet because I felt like it protected my career, and it was the one thing that I kind of kept to myself.
Curve: What do you think it is about your love story that does make fans want more?
DA BRAT: I think for me, I was in the closet for 30 or 40-something years, for a very long time, and nothing ever made me want to come out. I just felt like that was the safest place I could be. And then I met this woman who just totally changed years of saving my private life. She just made me want to change everything. And then she’s beautiful. She’s successful, but it was her heart. It wasn’t the thing she had. It was her heart.
And I just think it’s an incredible fairytale love story. This does not happen. I wasn’t looking for love, and it was her that approached me. I didn’t even know she was into women. And she approached me, and she ended up saying, “Well, if we’re talking about all the stuff that we’re into.” And she goes, “I’m interested in you.” And I’m like, “What?” I had no idea.
She had my heart ever since. And then when we got to know each other, it was just the perfect combination.
Curve: And, Judy, what did that feel like to you?
JUDY: That feels amazing and a little daunting to me. This is so good. Is it too good? So, for me, it’s just like, “What did I do to deserve this honor?” I was able to witness a true love story growing up myself between my parents. So I was like, I don’t know, this feels fairytale-ish. I don’t think it’s too good to be true, but is this the closest thing that I’m going to get to what I’ve seen growing up? And then now living through it, I feel like it’s actually better than, because it’s customized to me.
Curve: I’ve heard ya’ll say that couples should, of course, have things in common, but you don’t have to have everything in common. Which things do you definitely need to have?
JUDY: I feel like the wanting to have kids or not have kids, that has to be the same. Political, religious views, it doesn’t have to be all the way the same, but it can’t be extremely opposing.
DA BRAT: I think we both have to be career driven. We do our own things in our own lanes. So I don’t crowd her lane and she doesn’t crowd mine. Well, I don’t know anything about hers and she doesn’t know anything about mine. So we kind of help each other in the things that we don’t know about. The things that I don’t know about, she knows about 10,000% and vice versa. So it kind of evens out.
“It’s not just our story. It’s like a love manual and it’s not just for lesbians or for gay people. It’s for people in general just figuring out challenges in love, learning how
to compromise, how to communicate, all of the things that help us have a
successful marriage.”
— JUDY
Curve: Why write a book and why share such intimate details and put your story out there?
DA BRAT: Well, it was my wife’s idea. I personally felt like we had given them enough. We’d given them the reality show. We gave them a couple seasons. We gave them a baby special. We gave them a lot on social media, all the platforms. And she was like, “I think we can give them just a little bit more.” So when we started writing the book, and she started talking, and we started talking out situations, it was like, “Oh shit, are we going this deep?” But she’s taught me how to be okay to be vulnerable. Before I was like, “I don’t want people to know this. I don’t want people to know that because it’s none of their business. They’re going to drag us, and they’re going to talk bad about us.”
But I really don’t care as long as it’s helping somebody else, because the things we’ve been through, they’re amazing things. And some of them are bad, and some of them are good, but they end up helping people seeing how we hold these situations and come to a resolve.
JUDY: It’s not just our story. It’s like a love manual and it’s not just for lesbians or for gay people. It’s for people in general just figuring out challenges in love, learning how to compromise, how to communicate, all of the things that help us have a successful marriage.
Curve: So, what was it like writing a book together? That can test the relationship.
JUDY: Absolutely. And the first couple of weeks we realized that she needed to do her portion and then I needed to do the truth.
DA BRAT: No, you didn’t. Oh no, you didn’t. No, you did not.
JUDY: And then together, the reader can see between the frivolous, you know what I’m saying? The fabrication and stuff.
DA BRAT: First of all, there is no fabrication in this book. Okay? We dug deep, and we talked about a lot of things we hadn’t talked about in a while that may have been swept under the rug and it brought back some emotions. So, this book—writing this book with my wife—ended up being very therapeutic, but it was great for us. It brought a different type of bond that we didn’t have before. We rehashed a lot of things. It was an emotional process, but I think in the end it was the best thing to do.
Curve: What was it like really for your love story to have True? Like that changes a household dynamic. What was it like?
DA BRAT: Oh my goodness. It just is like the cherry on top. He’s the most scrumptious little thing. He’s his own little person. The best thing in my life, besides my wife, is being a mother to him and carrying him. I carried him in my belly. I performed with him in my belly. He came out of my body. I will never get over that. And I know it’s regular for people that have babies and stuff, but me, I never expected to have a child.
I never thought about having a child. I thought that was over for me and out of the cards. So, me carrying a child at 49 and having a baby, he is my absolute everything. I’m so grateful to God for him. I can’t see my life without him at all. He’s my every day. He’s my reason for everything.
When I think that I want to do something bad or go left, I might want to cuss somebody out or I get too angry, thinking of him reels me back in. I have to be here for him. He is my beginning and my ending.
Curve: Judy, what was that like for you?
JUDY: So True is my fourth. But the first that I successfully co-parent with. It is so good. It is refreshing to be able to see how my wife falls in love with our son every day. I have absolutely no worry in the world when it comes to our son. And I let her lead our decision-making and all of the things when it comes to him.
But watching her nurture everybody else, I knew she would fall in love with the pregnancy journey. I knew she would fall in love with having a little human. And I get to sit and watch to witness that every single day because there’s not a day that passes that she isn’t just in awe of True.
Curve: So, what’s next? In your heads, are ya’ll already onto the next project?
DA BRAT: Well, we’re already working on the next project. Fans everywhere we go keep asking us, “When is Brat Loves Judy coming back? So we decided to take it into our own hands and we’re filming it ourselves. You’ll see it on social. You’ll see it everywhere.
When I tell you it’s things that you’ve never expected from Brat and Judy, you’re going to be like, “Oh my God, I thought the book was doing a lot.” Oh my goodness. I can’t wait till people see it. It’s going to be amazing. I’m so excited that we’re doing it, that we’re back, and we’re going to make all the fans happy.
Curve: You are both so committed to us, to the fans, to the public. Why is that?
DA BRAT: It warms our hearts to give something people can relate to, something that shows we’re human just like they are. That’s why we live. I think we both have the same heart when it comes to giving back, helping, or supporting people.
So, if we can make our lives a guideline of what to and not to do or how to cope with life, then that’s what we want to do. We love helping people and giving back to people, especially our fans who love us.
JUDY: We really tapped in and listened. On the show, we’re very transparent. So, the thing that I think she is the most excited about, which I’m kind of shocked, is to let everybody know that everything that’s affecting everybody else is also affecting us. So, there is not going to be any lie told.
You will be able to see all of the things that are happening, and you get to see that, hey, we’re human too. We’re affected too. This is how we’re pivoting. This is what we’re doing. This is what life looks like right now. This is what we’re doing with our son. This is what we’re doing with our businesses. These are the things that we’re taking bets on. These are the things that we’re scaling back on.
Curve: If you only had an elevator ride, what’s the one piece of advice about love that you would give?
JUDY: I think communication is a big deal. I think we expounded on that a lot in the book because communication can also be uncomfortable sometimes, but getting through communicating could save marriages, relationships, friendships…
DA BRAT: And mine is never give up. Never give up on love because had I given up on my wife when she moved on or had she given up on me when I wasn’t truthful about our situation, then we wouldn’t be where we are now. Had she just been like, “Oh, I’m moving on. ”
And after the relationship she had, it didn’t work. She could have said, “I’m done with relationships.” But she let me back in because I bust my ass to be there. I stalked her page. So, what I’m saying is, never give up. Never give up on something you know that you really want, no matter what it is in life, but especially love.
*The stylized spelling of “beautiful” is a direct nod to Jesseca “Judy” Harris-Dupart. The emphasis on “U” is a deliberate stylistic choice by Judy to highlight “ur” (your) within “beautiful.” It signifies the couple’s individuality and mutual devotion-“you” are beautiful, and that it’s something “u-r” (you are) to each other.
LGBTQIA+ power couple Da Brat and Jesseca “Judy” Dupart’s memoir, The Way Love Goes, A Guide To Building A “Beaurtiful” & Everlasting Relationship, is out now.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jenny Block is the author of Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage, winner of a
Lambda Literary Award. She also authored the self-discovery guide Be That Unicorn: Find Your Magic, Live Your Truth, and Share Your Shine, followed by Badass Manifesting: How to Manifest Abundance, Success and the Joyful Life of Your Dreams. Block is a frequent contributor to The New York Times, writing for the “Vows” and “Styles” sections. Her work is featured in media outlets such as HuffPost, Playboy, and The Dallas Voice. Additionally, she has shared her expertise on national platforms like Nightline and BBC Radio. She resides on a lake in Texas with her wife, Robin.