Sex and the Pregnant Lesbian
Five expert tips on keeping the oven hot, even when there's a bun in it.
First comes love, then comes marriage…If the rhyme is true, pregnant lesbians are sure to be popping up all over the country in the wake of rapidly passing gay marriage laws. Authors Danielle Cavallucci and Yvonne K. Fulbright stay ahead of the trend with their book Your Orgasmic Pregnancy: Little Secrets Every Hot Mama Should Know (Hunter House), which uses gender-neutral language as it tells you how to keep your oven hot, even when there’s a bun in it. Cheeky yet informational, this compact book gives advice on how to maintain a healthy relationship, spicy sex life and naughty mind despite an ever-changing body. Figure drawings of belly comfortable sex positions featuring harness-wearing women make it a must read for queer parents-to-be and inspired Curve to get these five tips from Cavallucci and Fulbright on how to keep the “O” in lesbian procreation.
1. Before baby, be prepared: “Have a heart-to-heart about your fears pertaining to pregnancy and sensuality before it happens,” says Cavallucci. “As lesbian couples have the unique benefit of having to plan for pregnancy rather than having an unexpected one sprung upon them, they are uniquely advantaged.” Fulbright agrees, also emphasizing open-mindedness, flexibility and support as you go, especially in lesbian relationships. “As both parties are women,” Cavallucci explains, “the non-pregnant party may become resentful of the pregnancy experience of her partner. This circumstance is easily quelled by the pregnant partner maintaining detailed recounts of her feelings.”
2. Start your pregnancy with a bang, not a binge: Cavallucci tells us that many couples will notice little difference during the first trimester. However, Fulbright advises to start off right with healthy habits. “Maintain a self-care routine which includes exercise, meditation, and yoga, and pampering [to help] preggie maintain her energy levels for sex.”
3. Splurge away second trimester sex snafus: Between months four and six most physical appearance issues will surface. “If the pregnant partner is feeling heavy and unattractive and the non-pregnant partner is feeling less attracted, you have a major problem.” The solution? “Splurge on some outfits that help you to feel sensual and sexy,” Fulbright says. And as always, communicate.
4. Explore uncharted third trimester territory: “During the third trimester, the pregnant partner will nearly always fall into one of two categories,” Cavallucci tells us. “Hot to trot anywhere anytime, or more whale than tail.” Keep preggie off the psychological beach with sexual exploration, Fulbright says. “Moves that didn’t work before may cause mind-blowing reactions.”
5. After baby, get right back on the horse: “Let the partner who has given birth take the lead during the first couple of weeks, but don’t be afraid to get suggestive after time has elapsed to allow for healing,” says Cavallucci. “Don’t feel guilty for giving yourselves couple time,” adds Fulbright. “Being a parent doesn’t mean the wooing has to stop!”