I was moving some stuff over to my girlfriend’s apartment over the weekend because I stay there quite a bit and we are trying to consolidate and eliminate. See, we are planning to move in together. Notice I said planning. This is an eventuality, not an immediate happening.
So many dykes have asked us if we live together and are shocked that after almost a year and a half together we do not. That old barb, written by Lea Delaria in the '80s, about brining a U-Haul on the second date was the furthest thing from either of our minds when we met each other. I have indeed moved in very quickly in the past, always at the cost of really getting to know my lover before moving in with her and always to my extreme detriment in the long run.
Although I am not at all interested in marriage, there does seem to be something logical about engagements. That kind of “trial” period where a couple gets to know one another, makes sure they are sexually compatible (because if you’re not having sex, you’re really just friends after all), can stand being in close proximity to each other for long-ish chunks of time without killing the other, etc.
One element I believe is extremely important to gauge is individual television-watching habits. I have had television ruin a few relationships when my girlfriend has turned to the television and away from me. I’m really overstating this—TV was not the problem, but a symptom of problems in those relationships. But truly, I haven’t myself had a television for about 15 years and my girlfriend doesn’t have one either. We’re both totally—ha ha, LOST—when it comes to discussing what happened last night on the various TV shows over the proverbial water cooler. And I love this about us: we can spend time our together without television. Our valuable and limited time together is better spent having sex, planning for our future, going out (or staying in) and having fun, enjoying each others’ company , anything but blotting out in front of that blinking blue screen.
But, I digress. So, not only are my girl and I planning on getting a place together, we are actually thinking about buying a place together. I would never in my life thought I would be thinking about buying property—mostly because I don’t have much money However, there is a co-op building in my neighborhood being renovated and offered to middle-income people in my 'hood as “affordable housing.”
So, we went to a credit counselor at Neighborhood Housing Services of East Flatbush to find out how and whether we qualify for a mortgage.
Well, maybe, if I pay off a few debts in collection and get the IRS off my back, I might be able to get a mortgage by myself because my credit score was, surprisingly, not horrible. But, I cannot even believe I am worrying about repairing credit scores and securing mortgages and whether banks will like my financial profile.
The co-ops go on sale in October. We both need to take a hard look at whether we want the responsibility of being home owners.
Blogger Bio: Stephanie Schroeder is a dreamer, wanderer and writer based in Brooklyn, NY. She likes to exchange apartments with artists and other interesting folks from around the globe and travel in search of new friends and singular experiences. She makes purple a way of life and also fancies green, purple’s complementary color on the color wheel. (stephanieschroeder.com)