Don’t Stuff The Turkey

A gay girl’s guide to holiday festivities and moderation.

The holiday season is a happy time for many and an irritating time for others. We wait all year for that one day of freedom, to eat, drink, be merry and stuff ourselves fuller than the turkey. To indulge! It’s complete freedom from the “Fresh Start Monday” approach you’ve had all year. Finally, you get a day off your “diet” and restrictions or at least a day off guilt.

Now, I’m not going to sit here and rabbit on about tuna salads and green smoothies over the festive season, but I can offer some tips which will have you maintain good energy, get you through the season fairly unscathed and the jeans still fitting in 2017.

Aim for direction, not perfection.

Be in the direction of moderation, good health and vitality.

Because perfection doesn’t exist.


Yep! You got it! Here she goes again about water.  The number one symptom of dehydration is tiredness. Our bodies and organs NEED water to survive as we are made up of nearly 70% water. So, one glass a day, just isn’t going to cut it.

Make water a priority. Get 2 Litres in a day (8 glasses).

You will feel lighter, brighter and be able to handle the mother in law a whole lot better as you won’t feel as tired and snappy.

Tip: Grab a 2x 1 litre water bottles and write 2 hour time slots on the side of the bottle to keep you accountable. Achieve the 2 litres by focusing on 250ml per two hours.



Forget the sugar loaded arvo snacks, you will only get the crash! Try protein packed snacks to keep you fuller for longer and don’t forget the good fats! Hummus and carrot sticks, proteins shakes, celery sticks and good quality peanut butter. Don’t succumb to sweet shortcuts, they will bite you in the bum eventually. Now, I know at work functions this can be a little more challenging, so as a rule, always eat your meats and salads first. Fill up on those and THEN have something small as a sweet. Do NOT feel guilty. Guilt will do far more damage than a small piece of pav ever did.

Reminder words: “Meat the salad first”



I don’t care if it’s before you shower or you are downward dogging on your desk at work. STRETCH. It releases tension as good as sex, increases flexibility better than a one night stand and will boost those endorphins up like an inbox full of Tinder swipes.

Tip: Add a new habit to an already existing habit. If you boil the kettle every morning, stretch while it boils rather than stand there like zombie. Your body needs to stretch and it will wake you up a whole lot better than coffee. Tiny habits create big changes.



Every other year you have gone in to Christmas with strict instructions on yourself, fallen off the wagon, pigged out, felt guilty, made New Years resolutions and probably still have them this Christmas.

Let’s try things differently this year. Forget taking things away from yourself and being so strict. Guilt is a horrible emotion and leaves us feeling terrible when we don’t reach our already ‘way too high’ expectations of ourselves. This year aim to always think before you choose, be comfortable with your choices and fuel your body not your feelings. One dessert is plenty for the body. It’s the PMS that wants four servings not your body.

Tip: Be mindful, go gently and leave yourself alone.


Get Up And Move

Now I know you are “busy”. We all are. It’s the new black. Truth is, you aren’t as busy as you think you are. Especially not for getting up from your desk, going outside and breathing ten big breaths of oxygen. You are bloody lucky to have fresh air to breathe. Remember that and get outside.

Tip: It’s better to take a 5 minute break every hour than to soldier on through and lose productivity. Studies have shown that by taking your break you can actually increase your productivity by half again. Make sure you tell your boss that one!



Uh ohh, she brought up the A word.  Alcohol, one of those festive season staples for every household. I’m not going to tell you not to drink. That’s not going to happen and trying to convince you otherwise would be as painful as a fork in my eye. What I’d like to suggest, if I may, is to go a little easy. If you are only having one, why bother? Have a soda water and fresh lime. Drink water in between drinks and help your body flush it. The more water in your body the better you “tolerate” alcohol. If you are dehydrated you are more likely to be the one who is tipsy before the rest of the table and that’s embarrassing.

Hangover Tip: Get up and have a glass of water with half the juice of a fresh lemon, one left over from last night’s tequila is fine. Skull back your lemon water to help your liver rid the alcohol. Move. Go for a walk and get oxygen into your blood and endorphins pumping. Going back to bed will make you feel worse, so will a meat pie. Eat fruits and salads. NUTRIENTS is what your body needs not greasy fat. Have a smoothie and if you still want the pie, have it after you are nutritionally full.

Oh and don’t read your sent messages, it makes everything so much worse.



We all know how good these bad boys are! Man, they make us feel great! When feeling sluggish, try this quick power endorphin release to get you feeling like a warrior and smashing those tasks or a trip to the crowded shops.

  • 10 fast squats
  • 20 uppercuts in to mid air
  • 20 jabs to the front
  • 10 wide squats
  • 10 big deep breaths!

Tip:  You can do this in the toilet to get through lunch with the mother in law if you need to.



Play calm music whilst at your desk or in the car, chill music or even some frequency tunes. There are some great YouTube playlists for concentration and calming minds. This time of year can get really hectic and everyone is frustrated, so stay calm, in your own energy and float through the shopping centres like a cloud.  You are welcome to play Christmas carols and really get involved in the festive spirit. Just get those tunes flowing and bringing your energy up!


Bring Out The Inner Child

Remember when Christmas involved beach cricket or grip ball? Remember when you climbed trees and rode your new bike? This festive season bring out that playful side. Go outside with the kids and play catch, kick the footy. You can stand with a beer at the BBQ later, utilise some energy in the sunshine and have a laugh. Feel freedom and fun again. Meet mates at the beach for your annual catch up and have a picnic rather than the pub. Make end of year functions fun with mini golf or a game of sport. Be playful and bring some Christmas cheer and not be a Grinch in the corner.

Tip: You’ll be the favourite Aunty in no time after getting on the ‘Slip and Slide’ with the kids!


Finish Your Day With Gratitude

It probably sounds all hippie and a little coo coo. I’m okay with that. Before you sleep, think about all the things you are grateful for and write them in a journal: water, health, friends, shelter, love, your dog, your Mrs and more. A state of gratitude is a beautiful energy and will have you falling in to a blissful sleep! Become addicted and do it as you wake and set your day with a good theme of gratitude and love!


Happy Holidays 

Healthy Homo Out.