When Will This Happen For Us?

Procedure, Two Week Wait hell and another heartbreaking result.

The two-week wait was HELL! I remember thinking that I was fairly sure this is exactly what hell must feel like. I had gone into have the procedure the night after my high school reunion and was glad to find out that my sister could make it. We had been trying to get her to come along to a procedure before but with having two kids and several jobs it wasn’t easy, however this time she could!


She made it to our house and we headed to Concept. We decided to go the freeway so we didn’t have to deal with road works at my most hated round-about and ended up taking even longer to get there. I had to call them to tell them I was running late; this was not the stress I needed right before a procedure!


We got there and I was as always hoping for my favorite nurse (she should know I like her the best and should work every time I have a procedure – but I guess she has her own life) Anyway I got over the dummy spit I had in my mind quickly as I walked into the room with another nurse I hadn’t had before.


Sister A & Amber were up near my head and I swear the nurse wanted to reveal the entire lower half of my body (the girls assured me that they couldn’t see anything) they were too busy enjoying their free hot drink and a live show! It was a quite painful while she dug around trying to find my cervix but eventually it was found and the delightful sperm was put in. Now I had to wait 15 minutes and could then leave. Sister A and Amber are a terrible mix and they shouldn’t be allowed to be in the same room together as they ARE likely to be mischievous. After trying not to laugh too much the time was up and I could leave.


Now the two-week wait starts. The first day into it (a Monday) we had a girl we know inform us she was pregnant. It was a shock for us both but felt bad as I knew it was hard for her to come and tell us. I said to Amber that afternoon, I had hated it that we were that couples that people didn’t want to tell when they were pregnant, so not to hurt out feelings.


I felt sick pretty much straight after the insemination (I joked I was allergic to semen!) I had more flu-like symptoms than anything else but I felt horrible. On the Wednesday I ended up having to call in sick to work (well Amber did for me) as I had horrible gastro. I felt pretty ill for the next few days and was hoping it meant that something good was happening. It’s hard to embrace those possible feelings of something good happening, when you feel SO rotten.


I struggled through the two-week wait and was really unsure as to if I was pregnant or not. One minute I was thinking YEP this has totally worked and then other moments felt down and emotional thinking no way was I pregnant. The day before the blood test to find out yes or no I ended up having a home pregnancy test. The results showed negative so I was not feeling very confident at all. That night however, my mind was completely distracted by going to the Missy Higgins concert that I had been looking forward to for ages. If you don’t know me then you should know I am mildly obsessed with Missy Higgins (an Australian musician) I am completely in love with her song ‘Everyone’s Waiting’ and I welcomed the distraction of the concert.


The next day I was up early and ready for the blood test, still not feeling confident but holding onto the hope that just maybe it would be positive. We busied ourselves with going out to lunch with a friend that day; she has a little baby and a toddler so it was nice hanging out with her and her fiancé and enjoy their family.


Not long after we got home from lunch the phone rang and I knew it was Concept. My heart sank as they once again informed us that we were not pregnant. My levels were low and I should be getting my period any time. Sure enough it was like my body was waiting for the call and within a couple of hours I got my second prize. We had already decided that we would go straight into the next cycle knowing it would be around Christmas time. We were hoping we might get a Christmas miracle!


We were getting into the Christmas spirit with having lights on our house, end of year party for staff and kids at work and keeping ourselves busy with plenty of different activities. We were wondering when this was going to happen for us, and would it be possible that we would conceive in 2012 at all?