Addendum: My Favorite Ways To Run From The Heat

Ode to a damn hot night

Previously I wrote about how to stay relatively cool in blazing temperatures without air conditioning.

At that point N.Y.C. was suffering through 95 degree weather. Now the thermometer is flirting with 100. Last night I spent trying to levitate; the friction of lying on the bed created a heat pit. By the foot of the bed two fans blasted in different directions, which created an excellent wind plume, but which really had the effect of moving blazing hot air around. “Her hair was windswept; about to catch fire.”

This is the first line in my poem about last night: “Ode, to a damn hot night.” When I woke up this morning I felt vaguely hung over as water evaporated in droves from my pores even lay motionless with my eyes closed.

Perhaps yesterday I should not have biked into the city, to Park Slope and then back to Clinton Hill—a total of 12 miles—between 12 and 3:30 p.m. Perhaps the wrong decision. But, I kept thinking about basketball camp back in eleventh grade. How we had played competitive game after competitive, elbow throwing game in ninety degree heat on courts placed on top of a Peekskill mountain.

How between games I practiced, just to make sure I was working hard enough. I did it then, I can do it now! I’m tough! A machine! Screw the heat, I’m an athlete!

Oh wait, I got mono shortly after the camp. The doctor rattled on about heat exhaustion and overextending myself, which lowered my immune system to nonexistent levels. I could barely follow as the world appeared in slow motion and his words blended into each other. My mother hit me over the head after we left the office. Where was she yesterday?

There are still two days to go before the weather will bless us with 90 degrees. I think it might even go down to 85 degrees. We should be so lucky. As oil spills into the Gulf of Mexico, I’m inclined to think that Mother Nature is punishing humanity for giving so many birdies and fishies a hydrocarbon tuxedo. So, I’m humbly accepting the lashings, but wondering if I’m going to make it through intact.

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