A friend recently told me she had read the last few entries of this blog: “It’s great that you and [my girlfriend] are still having monkey sex after, what, almost a year and a half?”
One of my girlfriend’s friends, whom she doesn’t see much of but with whom she maintains close phone contact, will say every so often, when my name comes up, “So, you guys are still together?”
I’m getting the drift that it’s unusual—or at least perceived as unusual—to have a happy, thriving primary relationship that involves great sex, and a lot of it, after a year’s time. Even my therapist says that she’s amazed we’re still having sex and that we don’t argue much at all, even though we are both totally strapped financially and have been for some time.
My girlfriend and I have talked about this apparent assumption that longer term relationships cannot work out or that sex automatically dies after some pre-determined period of time. A gay male friend of my girlfriend’s estimated six months before the sex dies out—my lesbian friends indicate a year or so.
This saddens me—to think that the expected lifespan of a lesbian relationship’s sexual energy and attention is less than one year. The looming specter of Lesbian Bed Death, about which much has been written, is, I think, a real problem. LBD is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe sex between you and your partner is going to slow, halt and then die altogether then it certainly will. Conversely, if you believe you will be having sex (with or without the same—or any—partner) until the day you die, well then you most certainly will.
This assumption, the common presumption that two women together cannot keep sex alive, is complete nonsense. The idea of sitting on the couch in front of the ol’ cathode tube holding hands and just cuddling for eternity is not what I consider a healthy relationship. Or an enticing one, either. I’m all for cuddling, don’t get me wrong, but I want to get pounded and drilled on a regular basis. And, thankfully, so does my girlfriend.
So, yes, my friends, we are having monkey sex, and plan to for a good long time. I suggest you grab your gal (or your vibrator) and do the same.
Blogger Bio: Stephanie Schroeder is a dreamer, wanderer and writer based in Brooklyn, NY. She likes to exchange apartments with artists and other interesting folks from around the globe and travel in search of new friends and singular experiences. She makes purple a way of life and also fancies green, purple’s complementary color on the color wheel. (stephanieschroeder.com)