Dr. Frankie's Love Seat
Dr. Frankie Bashan
Dear Dr. Frankie, How do I get over an 18 year relationship?

10/24/11

Dear Dr. Frankie, How do I get over an 18 year relationship?

Dear Dr. Frankie, It has been about 6 months since my partner of 18 years left me for another woman—twice. Right before she left she admitted to me that she had not been in love with me for the past four years because she was in love with this other woman. Needless to say my self-esteem took a major hit and I am trying to rebuild my shattered life. Unfortunately, I only have one person I can sort of talk to. She is straight and very religious so obviously she doesn’t understand my feelings at all. My ex was jealous and never wanted me to have friends. I am currently living in Tennessee where the gay population is limited especially for a 40-year-old. Since I don't have friends or family here I find it very difficult to move on. Eventually I would like to move near...

Posted at 06:56 PM | Permalink | Comments: 3

Dear Dr. Frankie, Are Drugs and Alcohol Ruining My Relationship?

09/23/11

Dear Dr. Frankie, Are Drugs and Alcohol Ruining My Relationship?

Dear Dr. Frankie, How much do alcohol and drugs affect a relationship? What do alcohol and drugs symbolize both in individuals and in relationships? What is the best way to approach this issue? Is this a concern for both people irrespective of the frequency of use? Is past usage and consumption an indicator of the present and the future? Dear Concerned, These are complicated questions and the answers vary dramatically depending upon the individuals involved, their drug use history, and their genetics. As I answer this question please keep in mind that when I mention “drugs” I am also referring to alcohol. There is a tremendous problem in our LGBT community of alcohol abuse. As many people know, studies show that genetics play an important role in how the body...

Posted at 12:03 AM | Permalink | Comments: 4

Dr. Frankie, My Girlfriend is Pulling Away

08/29/11

Dr. Frankie, My Girlfriend is Pulling Away

Dear Dr. Frankie, In November, 2010 I met a woman who I began dating and spending a lot of time with. We talked about moving in together after dating about a year. Suddenly in February she stopped calling me and wouldn't answer or return my calls. After a week of this she finally told me she should never have started a relationship because she wasn't ready. Her partner of 8 years had died about a year ago. So we decided to stay in touch and be friends, but I was so in love with her it was impossible for me. We didn’t talk for two months, then out of the blue she texted me because she was moving. From that day forward we talked everyday, I told her how I felt about her but all she would say is that she cares about me and that we should take things slow and just see how...

Posted at 05:31 PM | Permalink | Comments: 1

Dear Dr. Frankie, Am I ready to start dating again?

08/05/11

Dear Dr. Frankie, Am I ready to start dating again?

Dear Dr. Frankie I'm single now and it's been less than a month since my last girlfriend and I broke up. I am just coming back into my Self and feeling happy again: I'm cleaning house, working out, finishing personal projects, redecorating, and enjoying my friends. I am already starting to get those urges to look around and flirt. I know myself and it would be so easy to jump back into something new. I am already getting offers and new crushes are very entertaining and fun for me. But here is the thing. I want to stay single long enough to make some progress on those personal goals, feel more empowered and confident, and take care of business. I don't want to feel that I need another person to be happy. I also would like to be more careful the next time around. I...

Posted at 11:20 AM | Permalink | Comments: 2

Dr. Frankie, Help I'm a Virgin

07/08/11

Dr. Frankie, Help I'm a Virgin

Dear Dr. Frankie, I recently had a breakdown at my doctor’s office for my annual pap smear exam and she suggested I seek help. That is very difficult considering I'm in the military and the records they keep. I was abused when I was about 5 or 6, and ever since then I find it very difficult to connect with people and express my emotions. I'm 24 and have never been in a relationship. I can count the number of dates I've been on one hand. I find it embarrassing that at my age I've never had a physical relationship (yes I’ve never had sex) and that I've barely even kissed a girl. Most don’t know because its embarrassing, and no one would want to date someone who has no idea what they’re doing and has this much baggage. I find it impossible...

Posted at 06:07 PM | Permalink | Comments: 1