Lesbians Are Shaking Up Straight Ladies’ Closets

Lesbians are Shaking up Straight Ladies' Closets

9 Ways Lesbians Have Given Straight Women A Fashion Edge.

Have you ever played the game “German, Midwestern, or lesbian”? Or, what if we posited the inverse—that lesbians don’t just look like Justin Bieber. Rather, Justin Bieber looks like a lesbian?

And Kate McKinnon makes a better Justin Bieber than Justin Bieber!

Let’s poke around in this Sapphic symbiosis a little more, shall we?

In recent history, certain cultural stereotypes, from Birkenstocks to mullets, have been associated with lesbians, making them outliers in the American fashion scene.

Then, a year or two ago, these stereotypes were readily appropriated by straight women across America and “dyke chic” became all the rage (again), and

Here are 9 ways that lesbians have given straight women a fashion edge.

1. They wear Birkenstocks—not ironically

Birkenstocks, as well as tevas, have been the standard footwear of the crunchy, earthy lesbian for decades. Over the past decade, the Jesus-inspired sandal has been appropriated by Millennials, thanks to the hobo-nymph aesthetics of celebs like the Olsen Twins, and more recently adopted by “cool moms” across America.

2. They don traditional lesbian hairdos of all mullet variations

The standard mullet of “business in the front, party in the back” has been given a straight-girl spin with the backward mullet, thanks specifically to All-American reality TV mama, Kate Gosselin, who told all Lifetime-watching American women that you can party up-the-front all the time.

3. They have tattoos

Once a visual code used by edgy women to attract other women, tattoos have become the sign of a #BasicBitch and as addictive as sugar. The rise of tattoo culture has found popularity with “cool moms,” perhaps starting with none other than celebrity cool mom Angelina Jolie. Buzzfeed even ran an Insta-listicle inspired by mother-daughter matching tattoos.

4. They play lesbian team sports like soccer

All that rough-and-tumble homosexual activity of team sports have made soccer, as well as softball and volleyball, beloved past times for lesbians both open and closeted.

But these days straight women pat each other on the butt in a way that makes watching a pile of spandex-wearing straight men playing with pigskin feel inadequately homoerotic. Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh, I am totally looking at you.

5. Lesbian flannel has become the everyday, hipster norm

Flannel. You used to not be able to walk into a lesbian’s closet without at least finding one flannel shirt. But then something tragic happened: Alicia Silverstone wore that hideous canary yellow flannel jacket in Clueless, and, with the Millennial appropriation of all things #Basic about the ’90s, we see gaggles of straight, usually bespectacled hipster girls like Taylor Swift making it a part of their everyday garb.

6. Pantsuits. Just pantsuits

Behind every pantsuit was a strong, virile woman ready to tear your skirt off…well, at least in lesbian pulp fiction. But thanks to our future POTUS, a rainbow of pantsuit fashion has become the marker of intelligent women, gay or straight.

7. They are unabashedly feminist

In days of yore, especially post-ERA failure at the beginning of the Reagan years, the only people who seemed to identify with the “F-word” were lesbians, who did so unabashedly, as a symbol of their (sapphic) sisterhood.

Now, thanks to countless female celebrities, like Beyoncé, Lena Dunham, Taylor Swift, and Emma Watson, it’s cool to be a feminist.

8. They don’t need a man

Usually, only lesbians, spinsters, and librarian cat ladies refused the company of men—heck, even nuns have “the Lord.” But, in today world, where women are climbing corporate ranks and graduating with college degrees at a higher rate than men, they are able to take care of themselves.

These women remain mysteriously—or not—single and even upon occasion have merged with their female bff. Hallmark: Oprah.

9. They are confident, cool, and in control

Women who were confident, cool, and in control are commonly thought to be lesbian because they exhibit “aggressive,” “assertive” qualities traditionally associated with men.

These days, however, you can be any type of woman and run the show—”cuz bitches get stuff done.”

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