Jump on the lesbandwagonThe wonders of (not so) straight girls.

Straight girls are strange and complex creatures. Strange because they like to sleep with boys (I’ll never understand it) and complex, because most of the time they wouldn’t mind taking a stroll down lesbo lane either.

It’s kind of like me saying, “Yes, I am gay, but I’m still hetero-curious.” Just doesn’t happen.

Case Study: Found myself at my girlfriend’s family event on a boat the other weekend. Knew four people out of the odd one hundred there. Now because it was a family event I tried to remain relatively conventional. Let’s just say I didn’t strut around in rainbow suspenders, or make it overtly obvious of my relationship status. After all, this was the first time I had come to a large-scale family event as my GF’s partner and I never have much luck with making a good impression on the parents. Generally they think I’ve somehow converted their poor innocent daughters so I was very well behaved!

Add a few (several) drinks to the equation, (which included shooting wet pussy shots off a plank, with no hands and the waitress urging me to “Just pretend it’s a blow job”) and it was mardi gras afloat! Yes, my coy, mysterious facade lasted all of about one hour and then I was slow dancing with my GF like no one’s business.

All of the other girls, straight girls, who are in long-term relationships (or even engaged) have now decided they want to become best friends, because we NOW have SO much more in common. One in particular staggered up to my girlfriend and me and asked her permission to grab my boobs, because she loves boobs so much.

They want to open up to you about how much they would love to be with a girl, how they have an obsession with boobs (who can blame them?), how excited they get when they run into a lesbian who doesn’t look like a dude, and my favourite line of all, “If I was to try anything with a girl, I would want to try it with you.” It loses its impact when you constantly wait for it to come out, as though it has been scripted. I try not to laugh but I can’t help it.

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