I know, I know, I’m a total idiotic bag of hormones.
Will it ever stop raining? It’s making me grumpy as I can’t let the kids “bounce, bounce” as G says, on the trampoline. Normally I can let them loose in the garden to keep inside tidy and get them to burn off some energy in the hope it helps Ducklips sleep through the night. (I’ll probably still be saying that when she’s 5!)
So instead I’m hoovering up mess three times a day, we’re still watching annoying videos on YouTube of kids opening toys and if I’ve got to balance anymore tiny pieces of brightly coloured plastic on buckaroo, I may actually die. Maybe it’s the drugs but my patience is short, and at times, non-existent.
I had my first scan to check everything was as it should be. I was feeling really anxious beforehand wondering if I’d be ready to go onto the next stage of treatment and going to the clinic gets me nervous as well. We have experienced a lot of emotions there and there are plenty going on right now.
Thankfully I had the smallest one to keep me company who was showboating as always. She is so confident and everyone comments on how happy she is since they obviously haven’t met her in the middle of the night! I loved my message from L that morning, “Good luck my baby making machine”. Aww. That helped make me feel better.
The scan was to make sure that my ovaries were completely turned off without any follicles growing, which they were, and meant we can move on to the stimulation injections which are now to produce lots of follicles and hopefully lots of eggs.
So far the injecting has been going well. Not too many side effects apart from some hot flushes in the night and my mood is up and down. Ask L and she’ll tell you I’m being erratic.
There was an occasion, which I’m now embarrassed a bit to mention, when I spilt my Starbucks and there were tears. Not even a little sly one rolling down the cheek but full on uncontrollable flow of tears and unattractive sobs with shoulder action and snot. I can laugh about it now but at the time I don’t know what came over me.
I was really looking forward to that drink and was now distraught at it swilled all over the buggy and the floor. It didn’t end there though as I tried to find happiness with a slice of cheesecake and a fly landed on top of it.
It pushed me over the edge. L’s WTF face was staring at me burning a hole in my soul. I wouldn’t have blamed her for divorcing me right there and then. I know, I know, I’m a total idiotic bag of hormones.
Once I’d calmed myself down and come back to reality L said, “I’ve probably got another nine months of this!” My response was a little less than friendly but I am self-aware. I’m a bit up and down (well, a lot) and I’m trying my best to not to kill her.
So now I will be injecting twice a day for at least the next week until I will be scanned again to check if the follicles are growing and how many of them there are. Grow follies, grow!