Popping the Question with Style!
Who would have thought that finding your soulmate was the easy part?
Who would have thought that finding your soulmate was the easy part? But now, on the brink of proposing a lifelong commitment, that all seems indeed like a ‘piece of cake.’ Kneesquaking-mindspinning-heartthumpinggymnastics… Get Ready for the Four Most Exciting Words of Your Life!
Who does the Asking?
There are no set guidelines, with respect to same-sex unions. …Would we really want there to be? Creating your very own tradition is encouraged – it will make for the most perfect Engagement Story. Romantic or adventurous, collaborative or spontaneous … as unique as is your relationship.
What elements should I include to make the Surprise memorable?
Follow your heart and your intuition – they’ve gotten you this far! However it’s also important to remember your Basics from Psychology 101: this proposal is a fullfillment of your dreams, of course, but it’s moreover for your partner. Keep in mind her particular tastes and fondest wishes.
Do some detective work
Over an ordinary dinner, keep your proposal plans a secret while you quiz your sweetie on her likes and dislikes. How does she prefer that you show affection: verbally, with gifts, through a handwritten poem, with a tender massage?... What really sets the mood for her: background music, an unexpected weekend getaway, simple quality time together at home?... Take these things into consideration as you plan the details of how/when/where you will propose.
Communication, Communication, Communication
If you’ve held a specific vision in your mind about what your engagement would look like… be sure to share that with your partner. She may think it’s outrageous you’ve been planning since childhood, but let her know you’re serious about it. At the same time, realize that the relationship is comprised of the two of you: flexibility and allowing for her input will not only make the proposal wonderful in unexpected ways, it will make your subsequent wedding plans that much more wonderful and peaceful too.
Should there be a Ring? Who should pick it out?
Most couples report that including the presentation of a ring during the proposal absolutely makes the moment. There is, quite simply, a degree of seriousness expressed in this symbolic exchange. The gift of the ring highlights the formality of your proposal; at the same time it draws on the emotionality of one centuries-old tradition that does in fact translate well for LGBTQ relationships.
The issue about picking out the ring/s will vary, couple to couple. For some, picking them out together is the perfect solution to insure that both partners’ styles and preferences are represented. This often works well if the rings are selected but bought separately later, or the exact timing of the proposal is left undecided. Sometimes a couple will go so far as to stipulate that the proposal must wait a few months after the purchase, so that there is plenty of time to insure an ideal set of circumstances to Pop the Question.
On the other hand, many couples find that it’s easy to pick out a ring for their partner, and that the surprise in fact adds to the excitement on the day of the proposal. Remember, having fun is part of the process too!
What are some Ideas?
Take time to think about the ‘Wow-Factor.’ And keep in mind that no matter what you decide, there are always a variety of ways to splurge, to budget or to involve others so that the day of your proposal can be everything you wish for it to be.
Here is just a short list to get you started:
Rose Petals – A romantic added touch, no matter where your proposal takes place
Water - Let the magic of a waterfall, lake, stream or even a fountain complete the ambience
Chocolate – Don’t forget just how sexy dessert can be! Some couples hide the engagement ring in a box of chocolates, or top off a slice of decadent cake with the dazzling diamond… be creative!
Personalize – A homemade card, a handwritten promise or a crafted gift box can sweetly accent your sentiment
Wine – A simple toast can be just the way to her heart
Audience – While many couples prefer a private moment, for some the inclusion of a circle of friends or witnesses creates a greater sense of exhilaration
Rituals – Including a sacred tradition during or just after your proposal is a beautiful way to heighten intimacy and formalize the moment
After the ‘Yes!’…
It’s a rush, to propose or be proposed to! Your partner will be that much more delighted if you are prepared to quickly register for gifts, or begin chatting about Wedding Plans. Take time in advance to choose a few registry options, or consider buying a wedding planner guide simply to indulge your new fiancée.
Enjoy the anticipation!
Your Engagement Story will last a lifetime – make it one that will bring a sweet smile to both you and your partner for endless years to come. Congrats!
RainbowWeddingNetwork.com has been the trusted wedding resource for the LGBT community since 1999. Along with the diverse services through their website, the company produces an ongoing national tour of LGBT Wedding Expos. Additional wedding & parenting related articles are available through the site. www.RainbowWedddingNetwork.com
Author Marianne Puechl is the co-founder of RainbowWeddingNetwork. Her recently published novel, The Locket, is available through her website: www.MariannePuechl.com.