Written by:
Diane Anderson-Minshall
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this Issue of Curve:
Vol. 15#2
Everyone remembers her first time. I was 6. I was dressed in a frilly pink dress and white knee-high socks and I was so excited I threw up on Dumbo. I’m talking, of course, about experiencing the wonder that is Disneyland.
Once you’ve traveled the darkened waterways with the randy cross-dressers of the Pirates of the Caribbean or whizzed through space with a fey little boy in Peter Pan’s Flight, well, there’s just no turning back for a queer girl. As kids, we may have vowed to return to Disneyland (or, for those east-of-the-Mississippi babes, Disney World) every week as adults, but for most of us, it’s a once-a-year-at-best adventure.
Like a lot of dykes, I visit as often as I can afford and I am convinced that the happiest place on earth is indeed Disneyland (not Northampton). The best part is, you don’t need kids to enjoy Disneyland. Sure, you can take your brother’s rug rats and become cool aunt Patty, but you might be too busy trying to get nacho cheese out of little Ashley’s ringlets to fully enjoy this totally queer destination.
Gay Day or Any Day
Over a decade ago, Doug Swallow and some friends met up at Walt Disney World one day in June, and a tradition was born. Swallow’s Gay Day (http://www.gayday.com) has ballooned into a series of week-long festivities that attract over 100,000 gays and lesbians from around the world.
In 1998, Jeffrey Epstein visited Gay Day at Disney World and decided to import the idea to the West Coast. That first year, 2,500 queers showed up for Gay Day 2 (http://www.gayday2.com). Last year, over 25,000 — many sporting the event’s signature red T-shirts — came out for the campy rides, lesbian dances and oh-so-queer scavenger hunts. Everyone brings their own red tee, mind you, which means many attendees sport self-made slogans like “Duh,” “Ya Think?” and even “I Don’t Need to Wear Red.” On Gay Day, the jingle “Discover a whole new world” offers unexpected meaning for those Midwestern families that come unprepared for the gay throngs.
Though the chicks are decidedly cuter, you don’t need to wait for Gay Day to visit Disney; any day at Disneyland is like an exaggerated flight of the imagination, with queerness around every corner. (With some of the best park designs coming from gays, what else do you expect?) The best way to avoid crowds at Disneyland is to visit in October, November, December, January or May. Hit it in mid-June and you may not enjoy the hours-long wait to pretend you’re Indiana Jones.
Get a Ticket to Ride
Before you go, grab a copy of Queens in the Kingdom: The Ultimate Gay and Lesbian Guide to the Disney Theme Parks (http://www.alyson.com), a must-have for Disney travelers that’s especially useful for locating each park’s gay goodies (did you know there is an Ellen DeGeneres attraction at Florida’s Epcot Center?). It also offers fairy facts, like which rides are gay-designed and where girls can steal kisses in the park.
Some of my favorite queer park highlights include a row of gay ducks doing the cancan on Disneyland Railroad, drag-queen icon Jessica Rabbit in Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin and the dark and gothic Haunted Mansion, with a medium encased in a crystal ball. According to Queens, the Haunted Mansion is considered the best place in Disneyland to fool around, and, as I can attest, lesbians who like their girls Goth just love the ride workers here.
Of course, there are more must-sees, like the drag show for gay Polynesian birds (the Enchanted Tiki Room) and the Matterhorn (a ride where the seats are fashioned after bobsleds, so your girlfriend simply must sit between your legs while you hold on for dear life).
The Rest of It
If you pop outside the park for any reason (are you nuts?), you may be interested in the traveler’s triad: eating, sleeping and shopping. Shopping is easy — the relatively new (and free) Downtown Disney district offers a handful of upscale stores like Basin and Sephora, a giant World of Disney (in case you need a Cruella de Ville collection) and ESPN Zone (a one-of-a-kind experience with 35,000 square feet of interactive entertainment and 175 TV monitors broadcasting different sporting events). The latter is a girl jock’s wet dream.
If you’re lucky enough to stay at one of Disney’s hotels, it’s easy to hop in and out of the park all day. Disney’s Paradise Pier Hotel is a resort-style hotel with views of the park, a rooftop pool and an extraordinary sushi restaurant, Yamabuki, where you should definitely try the plum wine ice cream. The aging Disneyland Hotel has a 110-foot water slide, a Peter Pan-themed pool and a musical water show, but it’s nothing compared to Disney’s Grand Californian Hotel, the first Disney resort to be located inside a theme park. The latter is a Craftsman-style lodge with live piano music, three heated pools, a water slide, a health club, the Zagat-topping Napa Rose Restaurant and Lounge, and Pinocchio’s Workshop, a place where, thankfully, people drop off their kids while the adults have a quiet dinner alone.
Though I can survive an entire Disneyland trip on churros and frozen bananas, usually fill up at Candy Palace (the ultimate confection destination) and have bravely downed the Bountiful Valley specialty (a peanut butter and jelly wrap with gummy worms), there’s no excuse to eat only junk at the Magic Kingdom. Ralph Brennan’s Jazz Kitchen Express is a great place to start the day — grab a beignet (those puffy, powdered New Orleans doughnuts) and a café au lait and you’re on your way. Dinner there is a four-star affair. (My faves? Andouille-crusted mahi mahi with crawfish sauce, bourbon-soaked bread pudding and shrimp spring rolls.)
For info on Disneyland, its hotels or its restaurants, go to http://www.disneyland.com or call (800) 450-4002. You can find Gay Day events at theme parks around the globe at http://www.gayday.com |
