Written by:
Kristin Egener
Photographer:
Laimah Osman
Today I did one of the hardest, most courageous things of my life: I came out to my Health class.
I wasn't intending to be courageous, it was actually sort of impulsive, and I didn't realize until it was over what I'd said and done. But now I feel so STRONG, like I can face anything and anyone.
I knew it was going to be an interesting day for me from the very beginning of class, when Mr. Parker wrote "Today's Topic: Varieties of Sexual Desire" on the blackboard. Everybody started laughing right away and yelling things like, "Yeah, I desire my dog, Mr. Parker!" and "I am madly in love with my horse!"
I started trying to think of ways to escape from the room — it suddenly seemed really small and crowded. Through the heating duct? Out the window?
But I was trapped, so I just sat there and tried to be invisible. Mr. Parker started talking about sexuality and saying how it was a complicated thing that didn't always fit into the socially-approved mode of man/woman, and that homosexuality and bisexuality should be regarded as a natural variation of sexual desire.
When he said that, everyone was like, "Whatever!" Then Riley, who's a bigoted smart-ass and thinks he's God's gift, asked Mr. Parker, "How can you say homosexuality is NORMAL? Homos make up like 5 percent of the population! That's not the norm, so by definition it's DEVIANT!"
I could feel myself getting mad, partly because I hate Riley so much. He kept going on and on, too, about how homosexuality had to be a perversion and unnatural because it didn't serve any natural purpose, like procreation, and why would something exist that had no evolutionary purpose, maybe it did have some purpose to begin with but it obviously didn't have any now, so it was only a matter of time before homos were all weeded out.
Finally, just to make everyone laugh, he was like, "And when it comes to weeding them out, I'll be glad to help!" That REALLY got me. I was so furious, I know I was bright red, and I turned around in my seat and practically shouted at him, "How do YOU know what has evolutionary purpose and what doesn't? You are SO arrogant! You think you're GOD! And why do you care so much about who people love? It's just love, it's not a personal threat to YOU!"
And he was like, "Why do YOU care so much, then? Are you a homo, Regina?" And I was like, "YES, I am! Got a problem with it?" A really cliché thing to say, I know, but it was the best I could come up with and I didn't mean to quote Melissa Etheridge at the time.
Everybody was like, "Whoooa!" and all hell broke loose—everybody talking all at once. Mr. Parker tried to get them calmed down, but by the time he did the bell rang and everyone started packing up and leaving. I couldn't look at anybody but I could feel their stares. Mr. Parker tried to talk to me but I rushed out.
So that's how I came out. Not graceful, but effective. Thank goodness Health class was last period, so I didn't have to deal with anything else, and now it's the weekend. But I don't know what to expect on Monday.
I wish I had somebody to help me.
<*smooches*> ~Regina
Regina Babydyke's Cyber Diary is a Curvemag.com Web exclusive.You won't find it anywhere but here. We'll be posting new episodes in the coming weeks, so check back soon for more!
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