Written by:
Kristin Egener
Photographer:
Laimah Osman
Well, let's get to the point —I didn't call her. I couldn't!
And it's not like I didn't try. I got halfway through dialing her number SIX times. On the seventh time I dialed all the way and let it ring, but when someone picked up —someone with a beautiful, deep, sexy voice like hers, I hung up.
The #1 Dating No-No: Calling and Then Hanging Up. Why did I do it? I have no idea, I thought knew better than that.
When I saw her today in the hall, I ducked behind a pillar. She must've seen me do it, though, because she turned as she passed and said "Hi" with a smile. I smiled weakly and didn't say anything — my legs were too Jello-y.
Juan was like, "You are SO smooth. Say something, anything! Compliment her on her shoelaces!" His vocal cords don't experience sudden engine failure like mine do, he's always got something — usually too much — to say.
He also doesn't understand — I'm in LOVE, not just in lust, and I'm falling into every Bad Dating Maneuver in the book.
Maneuver #2: On the Day After Calling and Hanging Up, Hide When Crush Comes into Sight. And to top it all off, when I saw her in the hallway again (twice more, actually) I looked past her. I'm turning into a stereotype!! I'm doing all the things I laughed at other people for doing!! I don't remember that being "straight" was this complicated, but I guess I never really fell for a guy. She MUST think I'm avoiding her by now, or that I don't like her, or at least that I'm too spineless to admit that I do.
Being "straight" was easier in a lot of ways. But now I have something to wake up for in the morning, literally — I'll never miss my 8 am Bio class again. I'm learning nothing about protozoa, but a LOT about the how the hair grows on the back of Jude's neck.
I think I need to come out. I've been feeling more and more this way since school started; although I messed it up a little with the whole Brian/Juan thing, the beginning of the year is still a great time for a new ME. I need to feel strong again, instead of always pretending and lying and hiding my feelings. That's not me.
I've always been the strong one, the one who says it like it is. What more do I need, anyway — I've got the motive (Jude) and the resolve. I just need the method. It's like I'm in a game of Clue, but I need the third card. I know! It's Regina with Rubyfruit Jungle in the girls' locker room! Heeheehee!
<*smooches*> ~Regina
Regina Babydyke's Cyber Diary by Kristin Egener is a Curvemag.com Web exclusive.You won't find it anywhere but here. We'll be posting new episodes in the coming weeks, so check back soon for more!
Regina Babydyke's Cyber Diary is a Curvemag.com Web exclusive.You won't find it anywhere but here. We'll be posting new episodes in the coming weeks, so check back soon for more!
|
