Written by:
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Elle Macpherson's trip into lesbianhood falls flat.
Lesbians who, since her steamy bi-curious role in "Sirens", have been waiting to see Elle Macpherson involved in some Sapphic action have had their wishes come true, sort of.
In the Showtime mini-series, "It's a Girl Thing", airing January 20 and 27, supermodel Macpherson plays a repressed law partner who goes on a blind date with Star Trek's Brent Spiner and ends up in the arms of ad executive Kate Capshaw. Written and directed by Lee Rose — the woman behind Lifetime's magnificent lesbian flick "The Truth About Jane" — "Girl Thing" is a star-studded four part production that gathers together some of Hollywood's finest actresses including Irma P. Hall, Camryn Manheim, Allison Janney, Peta Wilson, and Lynn Whitfield. With all that star power and the talent of Rose — who knows a thing or two about dykes — it's hard to imagine how this film could be so bad.
Perhaps it's the writing.
In Macpherson's lesbian segment, the dialogue is stale, awkward, and often stereotypical. The men are facile idiots who drive the women to lesbianism, at one point exclaiming "Oh my God, they're lesbians!" Macpherson, who's shown both humor and tenderness in her previous gigs (see "Friends" and "If Lucy Fell", respectively) shows virtually no emotion here. Her proclamations — such as "I don't even know what two women do together" — seem vacuous at best. She's not a lesbian, she's not bisexual: she's simply repressed. She comes across as a rather disinterested voyeur in the land of lesbiana where everyone dances around saying strange things ("women take more time…") and reacting inappropriately (does director Rose really think lawyers would be so uncouth?).
Capshaw, bless her, does her best to work with Mac and the material. She's authentic and believable as a woman who's comfortable with her bisexuality. And she's incredibly sexy. Though she had more on-screen sizzle with her young male co-star in "Love Letter", Capshaw — in real life the 48-year old mother of seven also known as Ms. Spielberg — is still one hell of a hottie who seems to know her way around a woman's body. And admittedly, there's a certain narcissistic loveliness to the site of the blonde-on-blonde couple in rather graphic love scenes (sometimes almost reminiscent of Ellen and Anne). But as an actress, Caphsaw can only do so much with the writing — full as it is of platitudes, generalizations, and biases. It's hard to believe any woman would say, mid-break up, "I'm a career bisexual." (Do they have their own union?)
While the other segments make fewer mistakes in documenting the unexpected twists women's lives can take —death, divorce, assault, love — seven some usually brilliant actresses seem a bit off-kilter in this acclaimed series. S. Epatha Merkerson, the venerable lieutenant on "Law & Order" feels neutered in her role as a shrink's assistant and Stockard Channing — who has never given a bad performance in her life — doesn't live up to her reputation in her role as Merkerson's employer. The award-winning star of "Six Degrees of Separation" and "The Baby Dance" appears sombered by the material — as though she has no edge, no feeling. Perhaps Channing wanted to bring a subdued feeling to the lifeless psychiatrist; so bored with hearing other women's problems she never focuses on her own. Or perhaps she's affected by the same dull haze that clouds over the usually luminous Macpherson. More likely though, in trying too hard to cover too many bases — explain homophobia, document diversity, illustrate lesbian sex — director Rose came up a bit too short.
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