Written by:
Jon Garbo
When Amy Striver* walked into her office in midtown Manhattan last Tuesday morning, she wasn't ready for the news she was about to hear. "My boss came over to me and said, 'They attacked the World Trade Center. They attacked the Pentagon. We don't know what's going on.'"
Striver, 28, a native of suburban Boston, flashed on her partner, who was on a New York-bound flight from California at the time. "I couldn't track her down," she recalled. "It was just horrific."
After hours of frantic dialing, Striver did reach her partner on her cell phone. Her flight was grounded at an Air Force base in the mid-West. "The initial relief I can't put into words," said Striver. "But it's coupled with absolute horror and disbelief. Everything seemed to be happening in a dream."
Striver is hardly alone in her reaction to last week's terrorist attacks on New York City and Washington D.C. In fact, feelings of fear, frustration, helplessness and even anger are all a "normal and totally natural" part of reacting to trauma, according to psychologist Patricia Watson, Ph.D., of the National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (NCPTSD) in White River Junction, VT.
"Given the shocking nature of this situation, and how unprecedented it is, the whole population is subject to feeling some types of symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder," Dr. Watson explained.
PTSD affects people who experience or witness life-threatening events, and it usually occurs in conjunction with related disorders, like depression, substance abuse and memory and cognition problems. Although the disorder is a psychiatric one, it can bring about physical symptoms such as headaches, gastrointestinal pain, immune system problems, dizziness, chest pain and other bodily discomfort.
But just because a person has symptoms does not mean he or she will go on to develop PTSD, Dr. Watson emphasized, and most people bounce back from traumatic events over time. However, some people remain at higher risk of developing debilitating symptoms of PTSD, "such as those with a past history of the disorder and those who've lost loved ones, friends and co-workers" in last week's attack.
The NCPTSD breaks down the typical feelings and symptoms associated with trauma into three categories:
- Re-experiencing the traumatic event, including recurring nightmares, intrusive daydreams or flashbacks; feeling as if the world is "unreal"; experiencing symptoms more severely when exposed to reminders of the event;
- Avoidance or numbing, including efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, activities or situations associated with the trauma; feelings of detachment or alienation; inability to have loving feelings; and
- Hyperarousal, or exaggerated startle response; insomnia and other sleep disturbances; irritability or outbursts of anger; and physiological reactions to exposure to reminders of the event.
While most people experience some of these symptoms in the days and weeks after a traumatic event, around eight percent of men and 20 percent of women go on to develop PTSD. Roughly a third of individuals who develop the disorder have a chronic form that persists throughout their lifetimes, according to the NCPTSD. People whose symptoms become increasingly severe or who cannot maintain their daily routines should consult their doctor for treatment, which usually includes psychotherapy and drug therapy.
Almost a week has transpired, yet the attacks continue to play heavily on Striver's emotions. "My feelings are all over the map, from absolute, utter sadness to intense fear to tremendous insecurity about being in New York to anger and rage," she said. "And through it all, I have a feeling of helplessness that we're not in control."
Looking back, Striver expressed her sincere shock. "None of us thought it could ever happen here. To have it happen throws everything into chaos. I've lost my trust in things."
Dr. Watson put it another way. "All of us are changed," she said.
* Name has been changed.
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Dr. Susan C. Ball, MD, M.P.H.
Co-Medical Director of GayHealth.com
Dr. Susan C. Ball, M.D., M.P.H., is the assistant director of the Birnbaum Unit HIV Care Center at New York Presbyterian Hospital. She is an associate professor at Cornell University's Wiell Medical College and a regular columnist for The AIDS Reader. She has published numerous articles related to HIV care. Dr. Ball is at the forefront of gay and lesbian health. She resides in New York City with her partner and their two sons.
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