Olivia Club Med Cancun—Day Six


After a few days of rain and clouds, it’s nice to wake up to a bright, sunny morning.

I’ve been lounging around enough on this vacation, so today I decided is my sporty day. I wake up early to take part in the Olivia Olympics. I slather on the sunscreen and head over to the beach. The sun is out today and it’s balmy, but windy.

Dana Goldberg is running the Olympics and seems none worse for the wear after her drunken show last night. A group of 22 Canadian hockey players are on the trip and every one of them looks like she’s in training for the Gay Games. They form one team and I join up with the lumpy looking Americans. It’s all just for fun, right? Lesbians aren’t competitive at all, are they?

I hope Dana was the only one who drank too much last night, because the first game involves putting your head on a stick, rotating three times and running back to your teammates. I managed to do it without puking or falling, but not so much, some of my teammates, who landed face down in the sand. The other games involve passing a ball overhead and crawling between legs and running balancing a golf ball with a spoon in our mouths. Good thing I hit the gym the month before this trip.

We give it our best shot, but the Canadian Beavers kick our American Pussies. We all high five and decide to meet up for a rematch at the pool games at noon.

I head over to the pool, for a quick jump in to cool off and while there I meet Mikey Koffman who is one of the stars of Showtime’s new reality show The Real L Word. She tells me she is both excited and anxious to see how the show turns out. She will see it with the rest of us when it premiers in June on Showtime.

Soon it’s time for pool games with Julie Goldman. They throw a bunch of corks in the pool and lesbians bat around like children after a piñata, trying to grab as many corks as they can fit in their greedy hands. No one really understands the purpose of collecting the corks, but it’s an excuse to jump in the pool on a hot day anyway.  Somehow, a few winners are declared and they walk away with prizes. The next game is for solos only and I understand why. The gals sit on the edge of the pool and pass an orange down the line using only their necks. It’s a great excuse for skin-on-skin contact and the Americans redeem themselves, licking the Canadians in this game.

Next I meet up with editor Diane for lunch where we make final plans for the night’s party, Curve hosted jungle theme night.

Next it’s off to see Top Chef Josie Smith Malave as she teaches us to make the lesbian classic stir fry. I’m too busy filming to get myself a taste. Damn, but I did pick up some good tips for a tasty dish.


The Club Med has three restaurants. Tonight we have reservations at Las Cazuelas, a sit down Mexican meal.  It’s nice to be served for a change and the lobster is good, although nothing like what we get in New England. Most drinks are included in the deal, Overall, the food at Club Med has been good and at the main restaurant buffet there is so much to choose from, one can’t really complain. Every night there is an amazing array of cheeses and breads, pizza and pasta, roast beef, pork or chicken, soups, salads, entrees such as frog legs, salmon or enchiladas. There is also an incredible desert bar, my weakness is the coconut ice cream with hot fudge sauce. Those pounds I lost to get ready for this trip are slowly creeping back on. 

After dinner it’s on to the Curve sponsored safari-themed dance night. I must admit, I look pretty hot in my vintage snake-skin button-up shirt. I feel pretty hot too. It’s sticky and humid, not exactly polyester weather, but I gladly do it for the cause.  There’s more dancing, photos with celesbians and fellow travelers. I manage to dance until about 2 a.m. before my weary legs say time to go to bed. 

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