Olivia Club Med Cancun—Day Five


Today is excursion day. I have to wake at 6 a.m., to catch the 7:30 bus out to Chichen Itza, a Mayan Ruin about two hours away. Our guide tells us that Chichen Itza is a unique site because it is one of the few places where people of different cultures came together and figured out how to live in peace, instead of warring with each other. Already, I know that I am going to like this place.

The bus ride is long. Two hours each way. After a bit of history, the guide puts the movie Frida on about bisexual Mexican artist Frida Kahlo. I doze on and off as the rain comes and goes on our ride through the jungle.

We stop just before Chichen Itza for a bathroom break and a bit of shopping at a roadside stand. I picked up a small silver pendent of the Mayan Calendar outlined in red coral. Later at the archeological site, we notice many vendors selling similar products at a fraction of the price. One lesson learned, don’t shop where the tour bus stops.  There were many cool things for sale. Hammocks, pottery, T-shirts, silver jewelry. I also noticed this carved stone dildo. I almost bought it for Lipstick, but couldn’t bargain the guy down low enough. Sorry, Lip.


The ruins themselves were pretty impressive. Our tour lasted about two hours and we could have easily spent two days there, exploring and learning about the Mayan culture, the mythology and science of trying to determine how the Mayan people lived. I was most impressed with how much it seems we don’t know about the people who once lived in this ancient city.

We arrived back to Cancun, sweaty and hungry. We ate at one of the three restaurants in our resort, took a dip in the pool and it was time to get ready for evening entertainment.

Before each night’s show, the Olivia dance instructors give a short dance performance.

Last night it was YMCA with several Village People look-alikes. Tonight, we were treated to the Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean.” I swear, all of the Olivia staff must have to pass a cute contest before they are hired. Two of the staff are professional dancers and even some who are not have got killer moves. There’s nothing sexier than watching hot women who can really move.

The show tonight is the much anticipated “Newly Wed, Oldy Wed Game,” where couples compete against one another and embarrass the hell out of each other in public. If you’re reading this and are planning on vacationing with Olivia, make sure your relationship is very stable if you’re even thinking of signing up for this game.  Be prepared to answer intimate questions about your sex life, the noises you make in bed and other potentially hazardous questions.


Dana Goldberg and Elvira Kurt are the hosts. As soon as they stumble onto the stage, both admit that they’ve had a few shots of tequila. It’s obvious they’re both a little tipsy, but not so much so that they can’t keep it together and still hit their punch lines. A funny game becomes even funnier, especially when Top Chef Josie Smith Malvave, who is teaching a cooking class later in the week, comes up with a bottle and a few more shots, which the comedians gladly throw back. The couple who have been together the longest, 31 years, are the winners, much to the delight of the audience.

Since we missed dancing the night before, we head up to the disco, Club O and boogie the night away. One of the things I love the most about the Olivia vacations is the dancing. I’ve gotten to the age where I don’t go clubbing much, but I do love to dance. And so do the women of Olivia. All ages mix and mingle on the dance floor, having a good time until the wee hours of the morning. 

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