Chastity Bono Comes Out as Trans
Chastity Bono, activist, musician and only child of iconic entertainers
Since she came out—or was outed by the tabloids—as a lesbian, actress, author and pop culture fixture, Chastity Bono has been one of those ever-visible lesbians in Hollywood. With two books under her belt, a career in music behind her and a tumultuous but successful turn as entertainment director at GLAAD in the history books (thanks to that infamous Yep, I’m Gay TV show), Bono tackled her chemical addiction, found new love and then signed up for the third installment of VH1’s rock ‘n’ roll weight-loss reality show Celebrity Fit Club. We caught up with her just as the season was coming to a close.
Did you have any concerns about doing a weight-loss show?
Not really. I had more concerns about doing what is a reality TV show.
You seem like the last person I’d imagine doing a reality show.
Yeah, so that was really where my concerns lay. … What was the spirit of the show? Was it sensational for the sake of sensationalism, or were the intentions more of a good nature? Once I kind of found that it was a pretty good show with an overall positive message … then I decided to go ahead and do it.
You’ve been in recovery —
Almost two years.
Is that hard to maintain in Hollywood?
That’s a good question. You have to change your lifestyle, because somebody who’s a big party person, you can’t put yourself in those types of situations. That was never really me; I was always kind of the, you know, pathetic in-my-home closet user, you know? So, my social life actually picked up quite a bit since I’ve gotten sober.
I’m wondering, how does it feel for you, you know, when you see somebody like Jeff Conaway struggling with his addictions?
It was tough to work with Jeff, really tough I think for everybody, you know. Maybe a little tougher for me and Ant because we’ve been there and … it’s weird when you are trying to separate yourself from that, and you are living a clean and sober lifestyle, and you’re surrounding yourself with others who are doing the same, to then kind of be smack in the face of active addiction is kind of a trip. I think it made all of us uncomfortable, because everybody who did the show was very professional. … Then you’ve got this kind of train wreck who just is making all of our lives more difficult than it had to have been. You know, it kind of started it out on a bad note for us, because it seemed like the past two seasons there were people who had those types of issues, but nobody’s ever gotten kicked off the show because of it before.
In addition to you being the show’s first lesbian, this is the queerest season with you and Bruce Villanch and Ant. How do you think viewers sort of perceive the show’s gay cast?
I’m sure gay viewers are probably thrilled just to see representation, as we all are. There’s stil —although it’s gotten so much better—there’s still far fewer of us being represented in the media than straight people, so that’s a cool thing.
Especially gay, fat people.
I went to Tower Video last night with my girlfriend, and there was some event going on. They were having some kind of thing for some kind of off-the-wall movie, and there were, like, a lot of punk people there, and I was shocked how many young kids—kind of punk kids, rock ‘n’ roll, punk kids—coming up to me, and [saying], “Lesbians are great. … We’re watching the show!” And I don’t think these were gay kids. I think that, for the most part, it’s a nice thing for viewers. I mean, Bruce is just so funny, and you can’t help but laugh at him. He’s one of the funniest, smartest, quickest people I’ve ever met in my life. It was nice to be part of something that wasn’t gay … that wasn’t the central issue, but I still am who I am.
One of the things I really liked about the show is the week where you worked out five days in a row with all the different people that your girlfriend helped set up. How does your girlfriend feel about the show?
She was totally into it. You know, we met about a month before I started filming it, and so she went through the entire process with me and would come on the weekends that we would shoot, and she got close to everybody that was on the show, and so it was just kind of this thing that we did every other week.
I know that, among lesbians, there’s still a lot of debate about whether fat is a feminist issue. Have you had that kind of dialogue at all?
I don’t know. I’ve never heard of this “fat is feminist” issue. Enlighten me.
[Laughs] Well, fat doesn’t always have to be unhealthy, and it can mean that a woman is sort o —for lack of a better phrasing—throwing off the shackles of the traditional, patriarchal beauty standards.
I see. Yeah, we don’t have that in L.A. It’s just fat.
One of the things you said is that when you are overweight in L.A., you kind of feel separate and apart.
Yeah, definitely.
Do you feel like that? Is that something that’s changing for you—or will change?
A little bit. I’m not thin by any stretch of the imagination, but I lost some nice chunk of weight on the show, and it definitely made me feel better. I would like to lose more; it’s definitely harder without the pressure of the show to do that but, you know, I’d like to keep whittling away at it. I think going into it, [it’s] more of a health thing but it does, it’s definitely a self-esteem issue. I mean, this whole debate that you talk about, I think it’s kind of bullshit, I have to say, kind of a justification. I don’t think there are that many people that are overweight that feel that good about it. You know, that’s why the diet industry in this country is so huge, but I don’t think you have to be … rail thin either, and I certainly would never be comfortable with that either. I think it’s about finding a place where you feel good about yourself and where you feel healthy.
Well, do you think that the diet industry sort of exploits this issue?
You know, it’s hard. There are so many varying degrees of it, you know what I’m saying? Like if we are talking about people who are a little bit overweight, yeah, I think it’s definitely exploitative and I think that Hollywood has kind of exploited that or changed it.
It’s interesting, you see trends throughout history. You know, my grandmother was an actress and a model, and she was up for the Marilyn Monroe part in All About Eve and ended up not getting it because she was too thin, and she had a lot of trouble kind of working because her natural frame was too thin for that time. Back then they were into the whole voluptuous, curvaceous female body, and now we’re faced with kind of being into this anorexic look that everybody’s striving for, and that’s certainly not a good thing either.
On the other hand, in America we’ve got a serious obesity problem, and we eat really crappy food and portions that are gigantic — so I don’t think it’s a black-or-white issue; I think it’s various shades of gray.
Tell me about your new project with here! TV.
I don’t want to go into too much detail … but it’s a screenplay that I co-wrote with a friend of mine from high school, actually. We’re close to signing that and getting the script in development over there, and assuming we’re all happy with it, it’s something that, you know, that I’ll be co-producing with my writing partner as well.
Great, and then can you tell me anything about your girlfriend?
Why, what do you want to know?
Is she in the industry?
Yeah, she’s a struggling actress and writer. And she’s 30, and we’ve been together for six months today.
Is it too soon to ask about wedding bells?
No, I don’t think so; I think it’s a definite possibility at some point.
Do you like what you read? Subscribe to Curve Magazine »

Email
Print
Comments
Reader Comments:
Question:
If a lesbian woman's partner comes out as trans, does the partner remain with the trans partner? And if she does remain with her trans partner, is she no longer a lesbian?
Dear Curve Magazine.com:
Thought this was an excellent story and question interview with Chaz ( Chasitity ) Bono. I've always found her acctractive and she seeems down-to-earth, and caring. I think her transition from a women to a guy, for me personally is a little strange,but then again I can picture 2 women together, especially sexually,then I can ever imagine 2 guys; BUT the fact tht Chaz has a girlfriend already, makes it easier to deal with.
Chaz may need to lose some weight in his eyes,but I think he's fine as he is. Would love to meet him someday,just because I like him and am a fan of his. His mother is Awesome as well and how this will all work out between them - only time will tell.
Thanks for Awesome article and cool magazine.
cybrlez1961
Hey Lezzierockerchick, I'm in that situation where my wife came out as transgender after we had been together over 10 years. We talked with a lot of people and found a lot of couples had broken up but an equal number stay together during transition, because as much as sexuality is important, love is love and that's what lesbians have been fighting for all along--the right to love who we want. For me, I still loved this person and that just didn't change during or after the transition. I'm lucky my partner is sexy as a woman and now as a man. I still identify as a lesbian though, because my primary affiliation is with the lesbian community, and I am still attracted to women, and honestly I think the reasons you identify as lesbian or gay or bi have to do with who you are on the inside, not on your partner's genitalia.
Anonymous, that was beautifully said.
I am greatful that he is going public with this. I don't understand the desire to changes your physical self to match your internal emotional self. If I could accomplish that, I would be 30, a size 6 and wealthy! Being bi though, I feel we should all support each others choices. Good for him!
So if you are a M2F trans and you are with a woman, does the lesbian community embrace the "former" male?
Anonymous,
At times, the lesbian community can shun the M2F lesbians, but some don't. I am a lesbian who not only embraces them, but am currently dating a transwoman. I believe a woman is a woman, and genitalia is simply semantics. Who are we to judge someone for being true to themselves when we want the right to do the same thing? Much like the lady with the partner who transitioned a few posts above, I still identify as lesbian, because I am attracted to the female form.
How has the trans issue become a gay issue? We are talking gender, not sexuality. It is offensive that lesbians now are obligated (or face ridicule) to support transMEN. Once again, women have to fight (or give up our voice) for men while we put our own issues on the back burner. Sorry Anonymously, if you are involved with a transman you are not a lesbian. You are straight or bisexual. You cannot have it all ways.
OK well I have to say that this kind of offends me. A few years back, when I was super confused about my identity, I read one of Chastity Bono's books on being a lesbian and I have to say everything she mentioned about how she felt and her feelings as a child and experiences were completely different from mine! I looked to her book for guidance in a time of need , but it left me more confused than before I started reading.
Anyways, my point is now i completely understand why I didn't relate to anything that her book said. SHE IS TRANS , NOT A LESBIAN.....
I don't know...I understand that maybe she is just understanding her identity better than she did before but i just fear that cases like this give dykes and butches a reputation. It makes it look as if all dykey girls wanna be boys...when i hope thats not the case. I don't know... but I support him 10000%.
But I have to say I would be devastated if i was with a woman for many years then find out that she wanted to be a man....
I believe very much that M2F should be considered a lesbian partner. I have *never* indentified with men, and despised every single day I spent as a male. Since I have been able I have altered my body medically, taken hormones, and spent god knows how long trying to get "approval" from men and women to look female. I am surprised how many lesbians do NOT support m2f transgender. Let a man say their bodies aren't up to par, and watch out, but that same woman will redicule a once man because the body isn't perfectly female.
A woman is much more than her breasts and vagina... I think most women would agree. I would think that nearly everysingle lesbian would agree more. Don't shun a m2f because her parts aren't perfect... she's just as feminine as you.