Advice

How to Kiss a Girl

How to Kiss a Girl
Photo: Tin Eriksson/istock

Quick kisses, bar kisses, sugar kisses, wet kisses, French kisses, long kisses, bathroom kisses, bedroom kisses, morning kisses, goodbye kisses, butterfly kisses, fruity kisses, lip-sucking kisses, neck-nibbling kisses, virtual kisses—with all the kinds of kisses there are in the world, it can be hard to keep them straight (not that you’d want to, of course). Most of us remember our first kiss—mine came moments before losing my virginity to a butch artist who pulled me close under the covers. I remember being terrified that I would do something wrong and she would never kiss me again.

That was many years ago, and I’ve learned a great deal about kissing since that fateful spring night. Most importantly, I’ve learned that all the tips that fill the pages of teen and women’s magazines make kissing out to be something way more complicated than it actually is.

The key to kissing, and leaving your girl wanting more, is confidence. Know what you want and don’t be ashamed of it. If you are confident in yourself and your intentions when your lips lock, she’s going to know it. I also recommend using your lips for more than kissing. Talking about what turns you on, and what makes you want to never kiss again, are good things to share, even if it feels awkward at first. Ultimately, kissing is supposed to be fun, and it should feel good.

Remember, no two girls are alike and there are no rules about turn-ons. Part of the fun and the key to keeping them wanting more is learning the little things that drive a specific girl completely wild. For some it’s a carefully placed hand on the back of the neck, and for others it’s letting your tongue slip over their ears.

The only piece of advice that holds true pretty much no matter who you kiss should go without saying: Make your mouth a place the girl wants to be. As a nonsmoker I can testify to the fact that there are few things less sexy than a girl who leans in after finishing a cigarette.
The key to keeping a girl coming back again and again is not ever to let kissing get boring or routine. Kissing should be different every time, even if you and your girl have been at it for years. There is always something new to discover.

Unfortunately, kissing is not like learning how to drive a car. You can’t keep muttering “10 and 2” and be successful (although I’ve kissed more than my fair share of girls who clearly haven’t learned this). It might make things easier, but at the end of the day good kissing can’t be taught. It’s something you have to dive into. Greet her at the door tonight, and you might find yourself with more than dinner plans. For those of you on the prowl, find a cute girl and try something new. After all, practice makes perfect.

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