Straight people guess what 8 lesbian phrases mean—with hilarious results.
So we all know that pockets of society love their lingo, and the LGBT community is no different. When I first entered Gay-Land I had no idea what a Pillow Princess was, or why people kept telling me I couldn’t be a Gold Star. And why did people keep saying I had Lipstick on when I didn’t? I was so confused.
But, trying to be cool, I figured I’d just nod and smile and look it up on the Internet later. However, I recently wrote an article on 7 Words That Have Different Meanings In Gay Land and, when I showed them, my straight friends began to blush. They’d never heard these phrases before! They had no idea that these words had different meanings to me! In fact, it gave them a good giggle. And so I thought I could have some fun with this.
I decided to track down the straightest people I knew, and polled them on what they thought certain words meant to us. Watching them guess was hilarious and outstanding. And here are the results:
What Straights Said - “Uuuummm... Is that like a *super-lesbian*? Like an achievement you get for being really good at it? You know... Like the stickers teachers would give you at school for good work?”
Gay-Land Definition - A Gold Star is a woman who has never had sex with a man.
What Straights Said - “I dunno, someone who stays in bed all day? Are lesbians lazy?”
Gay Land Definition - A Pillow Princess will happily receive oral sex, but is unlikely to return the favour.
What Straights Said - “OH! I’ve heard of this one! Isn’t a lipstick one of you lot that wears a lot of make up?” *Smug Face*
Gay-Land Definition - Also referred to as “Femme,” the Lipstick Lesbian is considered the most girly breed of bi/gay woman.
What Straights Said - *sigh* “Is that what *you lot* call an erect penis?” *Exasperated look*
Gay-Land Definition - The opposite of a Lipstick Lesbian, otherwise known as a Soft Butch.
What Straights Said (Although most did actually know) - “Breaking up with each other. But it’s like using a pair of scissors... Like... I dunno... Sharper and cleaner than straight people doing it?”
Gay Land Definition - The smooshing together of lady parts, keeping your legs apart in the shape of a pair of half opened scissors. Mainly fictional and most probably invented by porn.
What Straights Said - “Is this a lesbian that goes travelling a lot? Because that’s super insulting, dude. That’s the same as a *normal* person doing it.” *Judgemental Glare*
Gay Land Definition - A straight person in a Gay Bar. Someone “seeing the sights” without actually wanting to... You know... Buy any souvenirs...
What Straights Said - “The best kind of lesbian. Top of the food chain?”
Gay-Land Definition - The more dominant woman of a sexual relationship, who often prefers to give pleasure.
What Straights Said - “When a guy hits you upside the head for being gay? God I hope that’s not true... That’s terrible...” *Concerned Face*
Gay Land Definition - A term bisexual women use when they fall for a guy and then change their mind when he whips it out. Like Amnesia...but with men. i.e. “I got Manesia and then remembered I like tits too much.”
So there you have it. With mainstream media catching up with the LGBT movement, we’re not going to be a repressed minority for long. From OITNB owning the Emmys to Cosmo releasing sex tips for lesbians, we’re storming our way into the spotlight. But why not ask your straight friends what they think these words mean, too? I’d love to hear what they guess.
About the Author: E J Rosetta is an LGBT Columnist and coffee addict living in Hampshire with her spoiled cat, Hendricks. More ramblings can be found at www.facebook.com/ejrosettaLGBT or via Twitter - @EJRosetta