Amber Heard Is Single, Wanda Sykes And Portia De Rossi Team Up

Plus Kristen Stewart would date a dude.


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Kristen Stewart Reasserts Bisexuality After Calling Herself Gay

Via Instagram

 

In a new interview with Harper’s Bazaar, Kristen Stewart reminded the world that she’s still into dudes. When asked if she would ever date a man again, Stewart responded “Yeah, totally. Definitely… Some people aren't like that. Some people know that they like grilled cheese and they'll eat it every day for the rest of their lives,” Stewart said. “I want to try everything. If I have grilled cheese once I'm like, 'That was cool, what's next?’"

 

This spawned headlines. Then came the headline backlash, some of which was so sanctimonious (Dear Media Kristen Stewart Is Still Bisexual and It’s Not Shocking) I have to roll my eyes. We don’t yet live in a word-fluid word. Words have meanings. Kristen Stewart went on national television and called herself gay. Gay, technically, means only attracted to the same sex. It is not absurd to assume that by using a word, a person knows what it means and wants to invoke that meaning. Yes, bisexuals can call themselves gay, particularly in the playful manner that Kristen Stewart used on SNL. But to derive biphobia from taking “I’m so gay” as meaning “I’m so gay” is the sort of idiotic outrage-generating claptrap that infects our community like a black mold. Chill the fuck out and eat a grilled cheese. Bonus point: Kristen Stewart has never identified as bisexual. Who is to say she’s not pansexual? Who are you to assign her a label and then scold others for not using it?

 

Ruby Rose And Jess Origliasso Rush To Hospital

Via Instagram

 

Ruby Rose and her girlfriend, The Veronicas’ Jess Origliasso, are tending to the bedside of Jess Origliasso’s sick mother. Jess posted a picture of Ruby Rose holding her mother, Colleen, in the hospital on Instagram this weekend. Colleen’s illness is unknown by the public, but she’s been sick for a little over a year.

 

Young M.A Drops New Music Video

 

Young M.A’s new single “Same Set” just got a music video. The languid, rhythmic track uses Young M.A’s signature understated style and pairs nicely with a casual, colorful music video that shows Young M.A and her crew biking through Miami and celebrating her newfound success.

 

We Are All Ingrid In Ingrid Goes West

 

Last night, like many nights, I laid down to sleep only to find myself restless. In a self-defeating, compulsive move, I opened my phone and started flipping through Instagram. Thanks to this column, half of my Instagram “discover” section is composed of fan pictures of Kristen Stewart, often from her Twilight days, and occasionally Ruby Rose. But then I see the perfect ones. The women with easy smiles, bone white teeth and upper lips so full, they brush the tip of a narrow, upturned nose.

 

And I can’t stop looking. My gaze isn’t one of desire. It’s one of envy. Of inadequacy. These are ostensibly normal girls, plus a couple hundred thousand followers (HOW do they get them?), but if these are girls, what am I? I look at the perfect ones whose comments fill up with admiration and wonder why they were born with so much beauty and I was born with such mundane, nondescript bare adequacy. If you’ve ever felt that hopeless compulsion, you can relate to Aubrey Plaza’s (she’s bi if you forgot) unhinged, covetous role in Ingrid Goes West, opening this Friday in theaters. Ingrid Goes West is about envy, female friendship, and the internet. I can’t wait.

 

Wanda Sykes & Portia De Rossi Indoctrinate Children into Gay Lifestyle

 

The gay agenda is continues to roll out in all its crusading glory. Wanda Sykes and Portia de Rossi played wives on Disney Junior cartoon “Doc McStuffins.” The Tennessee Williams-esque erotic thriller revolves around a Doctor who repairs toys.

 

Cara Delevingne And Sister Poppy Buy Jared Leto’s Hollywood Mansion

Via Instagram

 

Cara Delevingne and her sister just purchased a luxurious Hollywood Hills mansion from Jared Leto. I just hope they bleach the floors. The 4,000 square foot home has four bedrooms that you will never visit.

 

Amber Heard Is Single

Via Instagram

 

Amber Heard and Elon Musk broke up. That was always a weird pairing. Not because he’s a guy, but because he’s an eccentric tech savant and that role doesn’t fall upon the laidback. "It's all over between Amber and Elon and she's devastated. It was his decision," a source told the Mail on Sunday. Okay, Elon. That’s plausible. The source continued, “He ended it a week ago. He'd heard certain things about her behavior that didn't sit well with him. Amber can be very manipulative and selfish. Elon's back in LA while she's licking her wounds in Australia.” Let’s decipher this. “Manipulative” means “Beat Elon in an argument” and “Selfish” is bro for “woman who doesn’t put me first.” Maybe eccentric older men aren’t the best partners for Amber.

 

Whiskey Heiress Allegedly Fired For Coming Out

 

Hollis Bulleit, who has worked for her family’s Bulleit Whiskey company for twenty five years, claims she was fired after bringing her girlfriend to Thanksgiving. Hollis alleges that before the incident, she was preparing to renew her contract with Diageo, the alcohol company that now owns Bulleit. However, after bringing her girlfriend to Thanksgiving, she was disinvited from family gatherings and Diageo severed ties. Hollis continued:

 

“Shortly after coming out the closet a decade ago not one family photo has been taken of me (or with me and Cher) with the core Bulleit family. Many events took place at the Bulleit family home with Diageo employees and no one ever said a word about what was obviously missing from photographs or the events (Cher and I). For the past decade, I have held these secrets; which have only served to exacerbate my suffering. The times I asked for help I did not receive it and soon thereafter I was out of a job. No one should have to make these choices. I gave my life to my family and my brand but I also was expected to give up my dignity.”

 

Hollis and Diageo dispute the facts. They claim she has been openly gay for years, and Diageo didn’t renew her contract because they didn’t agree on the terms. We hope that the parties can come to a satisfactory agreement—and honor Hollis and her partner as part of the Bulleit family.

 

 

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