Swim Float or Drown

04/29/10

Grandmas Battle it Out! Rosa vs. Carmella!

I grew up watching my grandmother stare out the window, commenting on the neighborhood kids passing by. "I don't trust that one." After several hours she gave up her post and sat in her trademarked chair. This is usually when I would join her. Together we would watch a few minutes of a game show with scantily clad ladies on Rai. As soon as the first commercial break hit she would turn to more important things: the discussion of family current events and history. My kinsfolk had familial dynamics with more drama than a Dynasty episode.I listened hard.The discussion always centered around three main topics:how someone died, how a lucky one found (or almost found) fortune or how horrible of a human being a particular family member (of the day) turned out to be. Someone was always...

Posted at 02:37 PM | Permalink | Comments: 0

04/16/10

Ear to the Ground for Queer in Baltimore

When I received an invitation from the Baltimore tourism folks to go down there for the LGBT show-and-tell weekend I thought: “What the hell is special about Baltimore?” The first time I had gone to Baltimore it was in high school traveling for an ASA softball tournament. All I saw of the city was fields. I missed a fly ball in the ninth inning which cost the team the tournament.So quiet.I did not have pleasant feelings about the place, but I decided to accept, because I was intrigued. There must be something about the city besides softball fields! Also, with other bright stars crowding it out on the eastern seaboard — New York, D.C. and Boston — there might something about the city that everyone is missing.The patriotism is overdone. Bloggers Bio: Lauren...

Posted at 12:38 PM | Permalink | Comments: 0

04/08/10

Tallulah Bankhead Live!

Learning about Tallulah Bankhead is Chapter 1 in the Counter-Culture 101 textbook. Somehow, I missed that class. Damn.Two years ago Restaurant Florent, my place of temporary employment, threw a party in honor of this brassy bisexual sex-pot. I said “Tallulah, who?” I wasn’t fired, but lost many fabulous points.When I read her bio on Wikipedia I became a bit sheepish. Here I am, thinking I have my finger on the pulse of alternative lifestyles and this woman did far more bold things 60 years ago. And here I thought throwing a faux-queen party was edge supreme. Tallulah was known to answer the door to her infamous parties stark naked. Brilliant. If only I could have met this woman (and have gone to her parties). What was she like, up close and behind the rumors?Tonight I...

Posted at 11:51 AM | Permalink | Comments: 0

03/04/10

Golden Girls Party

Two years ago I performed at Murray Hill’s “Miss Lower East Side Pageant.” A performance event that encourages creativity that goes outside the box. I came up with a out-of-this-world character called “A-Squirta-V’Tina”, a drag king who was making their drag queens debut. Why not? The more outrageous the better and enough gender mix-up to spin you on your head.After that blessed event Sharyn Jackson, the one and only, went clubbing in the east village, costumed and all. No one knew what to do with us, so we thought: “Why not throw a party where we create even more confusion?”Hence, Victoria, a dress-up party and performance celebrating faux queen-ness, was started born. The first party happened a few months later. The mission: encourage...

Posted at 05:05 PM | Permalink | Comments: 0

03/01/10

Week 1 Challenge—You Down?

Yesterday my friend Lissa, an entrepreneur behind the curtain of TheQueerist.com, called me. She read this blog and because she’s known me for a long time my waffling and indecision confused her. “What’s the problem?” I tried to explain: “I’m anxious about this ‘creating a plan thing’. Remember a year ago, the last time I had a business plan, when I got max five hours of sleep a night? Barely saw my friends and family? I can’t do that again.”Before a year ago I regularly mapped out my goals but because Catholic education beat guilt into my bones I worked myself into the ground until I completed everything I set out to do. In my mind, not doing everything was akin to not doing homework, which at St. Helen’s was akin to...

Posted at 12:47 PM | Permalink | Comments: 0

02/19/10

How Does Snookie Feel?

Yesterday The New York Times featured an article about Fashion Week called “Muscling In on the Front Row.” What was the issue? Well, there was a rumor last week that The Situation, Snookie and friends might grace the fashion world with their presence. Snooty high fashion meets overdone tans and hot pink nails. Worlds collide.Which makes me think about going to college. I grew up and went to school with The Situation and Snookie prototypes. Imagine for one second being stuck in a classroom with them for twelve years. I practically ran up to Connecticut, clamoring to find a more worldly crowd. But lo, there was an issue. Namely my accent and life experience set me apart and made it hard to blend into Welseyan. My fellow collegiate schoolmates talked about traveling in Europe,...

Posted at 05:26 PM | Permalink | Comments: 0

02/16/10

Plan of Action

This week I spent looking out for resources to help in my quest to come up with a better plan of action—more sophisticated and pointed than my usual. What I found is that there are a lot of opportunities for actors and artists to spend money (seminars, classes, workshops, more classes) and no clear answers about what works and how. How to go about being successful as an artist is kinda like theorizing about the creation of the universe—there are lots of theories but no one really knows.Two years ago I collaborated with coach Dyana Valentine—a true master of getting people to do what they say they want to do. One of my favorite things she said to me when I was hesitant to move forward, “What’s your problem?” My kinda language. What I took most from...

Posted at 01:03 PM | Permalink | Comments: 0

02/01/10

Saying Goodbye to an Old Friend

Many of you have come to see me perform my solo show Queens Girl. I have written about it on this blog, it has been written about in magazines and this fall I’ve rewritten the whole darn thing. Kamica said, “Why are you changing it? I like it.” So do a lot of people, but its current state does not match the caliber of show that I want to perform. Performing it around the world caused me to see where the holes are. To go on performing something I know is not as good as it needs to be is well…faking it. And you can’t fake something that takes up a large chunk of your time.For the show to match my vision, a new-age version of A Bronx Tale and Hedwig and the Angry Inch appreciated by the mainstream masses, I need a new creative team. Now here lies my...

Posted at 04:33 PM | Permalink | Comments: 0

01/14/10

Flying Solo

My state of indecision for 2010 has not changed within the past week. Many hours of yoga and some reflection later I’ve still not come up with a plan for 2010. Nothing concrete. No clear wants.I have rediscovered the glories (and endorphins) of dark chocolate. Especially when made into hot chocolate. A blessed substance.Twice before when in a similar state of indecision I gave a genius tarot card reader a call. He knew his stuff and it actually helped, in the give-and-take accuracy and trust ratings I give those things. He put the cards on the table, so to speak, about what was going on and what could happen. Nothing I couldn’t figure out on my own, but a nice reminder. Last Monday at 10:30 a.m. I told myself that if within a week I could raise the funds to use his services...

Posted at 12:33 PM | Permalink | Comments: 0

12/18/09

India's Fashion Week

Living in India was the first time that I had no one around telling me what to do or who to be. After college I rebelled from a conservative Republican family by moving to San Francisco. The problem with the Bay Area is that everyone agrees with each other, so there is a lack of critical thinking and serious passion. I went to India and learned something that the liberal mafia nor Howard Beach Italians would never let me admit: it is OK to manipulate the system to get what you want. Here is an old blog post from that time when I was finally was able to put on a corset and get out on the runway. Posted in post-fashion week enthusiasm.“A friend-of-a-friend in Calcutta is a designer who got into Indian fashion week for the first time. Friends of theirs were going there to help out so...

Posted at 06:57 PM | Permalink | Comments: 0

	04/29/10 Grandmas Battle it Out! Rosa vs. Carmella! I grew up watching my grandmother stare out the window, commenting on the neighborhood kids passing by. "I don't trust that one." After several hours she gave up her post and sat in her trademarked chair. This is usually when I would join her. Together we would watch a few minutes of a game show with scantily clad ladies on Rai. As soon as the first commercial break hit she would turn to more important things: the discussion of family current events and history. My kinsfolk had familial dynamics with more drama than a Dynasty episode.I listened hard.The discussion always centered around three main topics:how someone died, how a lucky one found (or almost found) fortune or how horrible of a human being a particular family member (of the day) turned out to be. Someone was always... Posted at 02:37 PM \| Permalink \| Comments: 0
	04/16/10 Ear to the Ground for Queer in Baltimore When I received an invitation from the Baltimore tourism folks to go down there for the LGBT show-and-tell weekend I thought: “What the hell is special about Baltimore?” The first time I had gone to Baltimore it was in high school traveling for an ASA softball tournament. All I saw of the city was fields. I missed a fly ball in the ninth inning which cost the team the tournament.So quiet.I did not have pleasant feelings about the place, but I decided to accept, because I was intrigued. There must be something about the city besides softball fields! Also, with other bright stars crowding it out on the eastern seaboard — New York, D.C. and Boston — there might something about the city that everyone is missing.The patriotism is overdone. Bloggers Bio: Lauren... Posted at 12:38 PM \| Permalink \| Comments: 0
	04/08/10 Tallulah Bankhead Live! Learning about Tallulah Bankhead is Chapter 1 in the Counter-Culture 101 textbook. Somehow, I missed that class. Damn.Two years ago Restaurant Florent, my place of temporary employment, threw a party in honor of this brassy bisexual sex-pot. I said “Tallulah, who?” I wasn’t fired, but lost many fabulous points.When I read her bio on Wikipedia I became a bit sheepish. Here I am, thinking I have my finger on the pulse of alternative lifestyles and this woman did far more bold things 60 years ago. And here I thought throwing a faux-queen party was edge supreme. Tallulah was known to answer the door to her infamous parties stark naked. Brilliant. If only I could have met this woman (and have gone to her parties). What was she like, up close and behind the rumors?Tonight I... Posted at 11:51 AM \| Permalink \| Comments: 0
	03/04/10 Golden Girls Party Two years ago I performed at Murray Hill’s “Miss Lower East Side Pageant.” A performance event that encourages creativity that goes outside the box. I came up with a out-of-this-world character called “A-Squirta-V’Tina”, a drag king who was making their drag queens debut. Why not? The more outrageous the better and enough gender mix-up to spin you on your head.After that blessed event Sharyn Jackson, the one and only, went clubbing in the east village, costumed and all. No one knew what to do with us, so we thought: “Why not throw a party where we create even more confusion?”Hence, Victoria, a dress-up party and performance celebrating faux queen-ness, was started born. The first party happened a few months later. The mission: encourage... Posted at 05:05 PM \| Permalink \| Comments: 0
	03/01/10 Week 1 Challenge—You Down? Yesterday my friend Lissa, an entrepreneur behind the curtain of TheQueerist.com, called me. She read this blog and because she’s known me for a long time my waffling and indecision confused her. “What’s the problem?” I tried to explain: “I’m anxious about this ‘creating a plan thing’. Remember a year ago, the last time I had a business plan, when I got max five hours of sleep a night? Barely saw my friends and family? I can’t do that again.”Before a year ago I regularly mapped out my goals but because Catholic education beat guilt into my bones I worked myself into the ground until I completed everything I set out to do. In my mind, not doing everything was akin to not doing homework, which at St. Helen’s was akin to... Posted at 12:47 PM \| Permalink \| Comments: 0
	02/19/10 How Does Snookie Feel? Yesterday The New York Times featured an article about Fashion Week called “Muscling In on the Front Row.” What was the issue? Well, there was a rumor last week that The Situation, Snookie and friends might grace the fashion world with their presence. Snooty high fashion meets overdone tans and hot pink nails. Worlds collide.Which makes me think about going to college. I grew up and went to school with The Situation and Snookie prototypes. Imagine for one second being stuck in a classroom with them for twelve years. I practically ran up to Connecticut, clamoring to find a more worldly crowd. But lo, there was an issue. Namely my accent and life experience set me apart and made it hard to blend into Welseyan. My fellow collegiate schoolmates talked about traveling in Europe,... Posted at 05:26 PM \| Permalink \| Comments: 0
	02/16/10 Plan of Action This week I spent looking out for resources to help in my quest to come up with a better plan of action—more sophisticated and pointed than my usual. What I found is that there are a lot of opportunities for actors and artists to spend money (seminars, classes, workshops, more classes) and no clear answers about what works and how. How to go about being successful as an artist is kinda like theorizing about the creation of the universe—there are lots of theories but no one really knows.Two years ago I collaborated with coach Dyana Valentine—a true master of getting people to do what they say they want to do. One of my favorite things she said to me when I was hesitant to move forward, “What’s your problem?” My kinda language. What I took most from... Posted at 01:03 PM \| Permalink \| Comments: 0
	02/01/10 Saying Goodbye to an Old Friend Many of you have come to see me perform my solo show Queens Girl. I have written about it on this blog, it has been written about in magazines and this fall I’ve rewritten the whole darn thing. Kamica said, “Why are you changing it? I like it.” So do a lot of people, but its current state does not match the caliber of show that I want to perform. Performing it around the world caused me to see where the holes are. To go on performing something I know is not as good as it needs to be is well…faking it. And you can’t fake something that takes up a large chunk of your time.For the show to match my vision, a new-age version of A Bronx Tale and Hedwig and the Angry Inch appreciated by the mainstream masses, I need a new creative team. Now here lies my... Posted at 04:33 PM \| Permalink \| Comments: 0
	01/14/10 Flying Solo My state of indecision for 2010 has not changed within the past week. Many hours of yoga and some reflection later I’ve still not come up with a plan for 2010. Nothing concrete. No clear wants.I have rediscovered the glories (and endorphins) of dark chocolate. Especially when made into hot chocolate. A blessed substance.Twice before when in a similar state of indecision I gave a genius tarot card reader a call. He knew his stuff and it actually helped, in the give-and-take accuracy and trust ratings I give those things. He put the cards on the table, so to speak, about what was going on and what could happen. Nothing I couldn’t figure out on my own, but a nice reminder. Last Monday at 10:30 a.m. I told myself that if within a week I could raise the funds to use his services... Posted at 12:33 PM \| Permalink \| Comments: 0
	12/18/09 India's Fashion Week Living in India was the first time that I had no one around telling me what to do or who to be. After college I rebelled from a conservative Republican family by moving to San Francisco. The problem with the Bay Area is that everyone agrees with each other, so there is a lack of critical thinking and serious passion. I went to India and learned something that the liberal mafia nor Howard Beach Italians would never let me admit: it is OK to manipulate the system to get what you want. Here is an old blog post from that time when I was finally was able to put on a corset and get out on the runway. Posted in post-fashion week enthusiasm.“A friend-of-a-friend in Calcutta is a designer who got into Indian fashion week for the first time. Friends of theirs were going there to help out so... Posted at 06:57 PM \| Permalink \| Comments: 0

Because it's not cute to flounder