Finally, It Has Happened to Me
Photo: J. Robert Williams
Finals over and apartment haphazardly moved into storage, I loaded up my Subaru with every cute work outfit I owned and drove to my summer internship in San Francisco.
Nervous to start my first day of work, I woke up early, got out the Fling—my new favorite sex toy—and engaged in a bit of stress relief.
Everything was going swimmingly until I felt something warm and wet start to spread across my sheets.
Dammit, I thought to myself, I just peed the bed!
I had woken up kinda sorta needing to pee, but I thought I could hold it through the fun.
Apparently, I was wrong.
Embarrassed, I pulled out of myself and got up to run to the bathroom, only then realizing my bladder was still completely full. Reaching down, I smelled the liquid covering my fingers, and it definitely wasn’t urine.
I felt like a little girl who just got her period. I knew this day would come, I’d read and prepared as much as I could, and yet I was still caught off guard when it finally happened: my very first female ejaculation.
I was now, officially, a woman.
As with the day I got my period, I wanted to run out and tell everyone, but instead I started feeling self-conscious about the mess my body made. I was immediately thankful this hadn’t happened on The Wind’s brother’s couch the night she got me close years ago and was thankful my roommate was gone so I could clean up in private.
It wasn’t my fault—it just happened—yet I still felt shame over the wet sheets and I began to worry about what kind of future messes I may make in beds that may not be my own.
Remembering that female ejaculations are awesome, not awful, I pulled myself out of the societal shame spiral I was heading down and texted Costello and AK-47, two people I knew would understand what I was going through.
My shame turned to pride as they both sent encouraging positive congratulatory responses. Slowly and not-so-surely, I opened up to friend after friend, going up the sex-positive ladder, and gradually began to get enthused about my new ability.
By the time lunch rolled around, I was bursting with so much excitement I had to tell my story to Bearly Legal, a bear cub boy toy fellow intern. Over vegan Chinese food, we had an in depth discussion on the various ways to orgasm that lasted all the way back to the law office doors.
What a way to start a summer.
Blogger Bio: Queerie Bradshaw loves shoes, social justice and sex. Born a farmer's daughter, she believes everyone deserves a good roll in the hay, and feels empowered by her feminine sexuality. She frequently travels both domestically and abroad, exploring women and wine from all regions. Now a law student who dances burlesque on the side, she fights for international rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of good porn. You can visit her website at QueerieBradshaw.com, follow her on Twitter (twitter.com/QueerieBradshaw) and become a fan of hers on Facebook.