Queerie Bradshaw

03/09/10

Wrasslin'

As a student, you occasionally get alerts about crimes on campus. Usually it’s a stolen wallet type of deal, but last year a man was going around campus attempting to force girls into his van. Thankfully, he didn’t get anyone, but the idea of him being on the loose made me immediately sign up for martial arts classes.

Learning to defend myself has increased my self-confidence, balance, muscle mass and made me a much more exciting lover. Everyone in class beats me good, but get me home and I’ll pin a partner down until she has no choice but to happily submit to my every desire.

The other day, I was playing video games and watching Buffy at a friend’s house (oh yeah, I’m that big of a nerd), when she asked me how my martial arts...

Posted at 12:33 PM | Permalink | Comments: 1

03/03/10

Very First, First Date

This weekend I had a first date with a girl I met online. We’d been talking for a bit, and I was excited to meet her, yet I was still horribly nervous.

I know that I’m a big bad sex and dating blogger and I should be able to go out into cafés around the world with confidence and ladies on my arms, but the reality is dating is a scary thing.

As I waited for my date to show up, the story of the Stone Butch Daddy (SBD), my very first, first dates, went reeling through my mind.

It wasn’t exactly a blind date, but it may as well have been. I was working the door at Miss Kitty’s Scratching Post, a monthly lesbian strip club in San Francisco, when we met.

I wore a camo corset, lacy bottoms, fishnets, platform shoes and a sticker...

Posted at 03:58 PM | Permalink | Comments: 4

02/24/10

Pollute Thy Self

The man in front of me at the grocery store the other night checked out with a baguette, two sticks of string cheese, an apple and a super sized tube of KY Jelly.

I, on the other hand, had a cheese-free pizza and some Pamprin. Guess who’s having the better night?

As I contemplated the various ways his evening might turn out, I began to formulate ways to make my evenings alone even better. I’ve always been a fan of masturbation but part of what’s made this dry spell so hard is that I just haven’t had it in me lately, pun intended.

Seeking ways to spice up my self-love life, I contacted Babeland, a store “offering information and encouragement to women who want to explore their sexuality.”...

Posted at 11:36 AM | Permalink | Comments: 0

02/16/10

Time for a Game Plan

Last September, I went on date after date, sometimes two in a day, making my way through the singles in town. It didn’t really work out with anyone, but I assumed I was open to more than just sex because I was out there, giving it a go.

That assumption stayed until two things happened last week. First, I realized it had been 3 months since I went on a date. I have hooked up with women since then, but it has all been the main show with no romantic prologues.

Second, Token Straight Guy pointed out how ridiculous it is that a quality I admire in a gal is that she doesn’t live in town. I always attributed this to me wanting to avoid conflicts in my life, but when I got excited to pursue someone because she’s moving out of state, I realized it may be more of...

Posted at 11:21 AM | Permalink | Comments: 0

02/10/10

Alone in a Crowded Bar

Living in a small college town, the hetero-homogeny of bars frustrates me. Sure, we queers have a tiny closet to dance in on weekends and our night at the big club once a month, but other than that we’re on our own.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy breeders, it’s just that I’m tired of watching them hook up night after night while I go home to Patches, my beat up old teddy bear.

Token Straight Guy and Lee, our good buddy, took me skiing for my first time since I was 7 this weekend. After three hours of shockingly good sportsmanship, I left the boys to their black diamond runs and made my way to the bar in the lodge.

A tatted up guy next to me suggested I have a “Face Plant” – rum, brandy, mint schnapps and hot...

Posted at 02:24 PM | Permalink | Comments: 0

02/03/10

The Dark Side of the Wave

After a tsunami hits, the most damage is done by the dark side of the wave quickly receding back into the ocean depths, taking everything in its path with it. Past experiences have taught me that the same concept is true for floods of emotions.

I once allowed my emotions to be released with full force, and went a bit crazy when I had to reign them back in. This is the story of my own emotional Tsunami:

We were interning at Curve magazine when we met. I vividly remember my reaction to her walking in late to our first day’s orientation. She looked like someone I knew, someone I’d always known, and I immediately thought to myself that I was in serious trouble.

We spent months sending hilarious and flirtatious emails to each other across the table...

Posted at 03:27 PM | Permalink | Comments: 0

01/27/10

Annoyance is an Emotion

For the third time in as many months, I took a girl home for casual sex, only to find out she wished for something more formal. She pursued me all night, asked me to come inside and then just laid there, curled in my lap, talking about her vulnerability after her break up and desire to find a new girlfriend.

I expected the throw-me-on-the-couch-and-fuck-me night she promised, but instead I played therapist once again. Not that I mind being there for people, I’m just tired of doing it half naked with bluvaries.

I’m a courageous person, but I don’t have the kind of resilience it takes to constantly fall in and out of love. Friends of mine go from one relationship to the other, some of them even with overlap. After each relationship ends, they boldly...

Posted at 12:10 PM | Permalink | Comments: 0

01/19/10

Ditchbanking

Ditchbank [dɪtʃbæŋk], v., to drive to the country, park on the bank of a ditch and have sexual intercourse.

In the small farming town where I grew up, we have this fabulous phenomenon called ditchbanking. Having nothing to do for entertainment, we have a lot of sex. Having no where to go without familial units present, we are forced to have said sex in cars in the country.

You ain’t lived until you’ve been crammed into a small cab, country music crooning late hour love songs, Coors Light cans and shotgun shells at your feet, the smell of cow manure from the local feedlot mixing with essence of Marlboro, your head pounding from hitting the exposed door handle over and over again.

Those were the days.

I lost my virginity, some dignity and...

Posted at 11:33 AM | Permalink | Comments: 3

01/13/10

Partially Exposed

Sometimes I forget that people I know read this blog regularly.

Last week, after the blog went live, I had about five friends email me to “check-in.” One of those people was Mamacita, a dear older friend who is like my mother, that is if my mother and I talked about our sex lives. Turns out she’s bookmarked the blog and reads it every week.

Mamacita said she loved my “sexentures” but was worried about one in particular. She wasn’t judging my decision to sleep with The Wind, but was concerned about the outcome of it.

This sentiment seemed to be the same with all my friends, especially those I talked to personally. Only one person commented on the fact that I hooked-up with three people in one week, yet everyone had something to say...

Posted at 03:17 PM | Permalink | Comments: 1

01/05/10

My Inner Romantic Peeks Out

December was full of potentially dramatic situations, yet somehow it stayed drama free. This wasn’t due to my ability to avoid conflict as much as my ability to shut off emotionally. This was both a benefit and a curse as I concluded the month by hooking up with three different women in one week.

The first was a topless dancer in a gay bar in San Diego, the second was a good friend, and the third was The Wind.

Yes, The Wind. As in my ex. As in the one I retrieved my dildo from in my first blog “Back in the Harness Again.” As in the one who I went through months of therapy and meditation to move on from.

Talk about pushing the drama potential. I’d been doing so well at having non-emotionally attached sex, it was a shock to let myself go with...

Posted at 10:34 AM | Permalink | Comments: 2

	03/09/10 Wrasslin' As a student, you occasionally get alerts about crimes on campus. Usually it’s a stolen wallet type of deal, but last year a man was going around campus attempting to force girls into his van. Thankfully, he didn’t get anyone, but the idea of him being on the loose made me immediately sign up for martial arts classes. Learning to defend myself has increased my self-confidence, balance, muscle mass and made me a much more exciting lover. Everyone in class beats me good, but get me home and I’ll pin a partner down until she has no choice but to happily submit to my every desire. The other day, I was playing video games and watching Buffy at a friend’s house (oh yeah, I’m that big of a nerd), when she asked me how my martial arts... Posted at 12:33 PM \| Permalink \| Comments: 1
	03/03/10 Very First, First Date This weekend I had a first date with a girl I met online. We’d been talking for a bit, and I was excited to meet her, yet I was still horribly nervous. I know that I’m a big bad sex and dating blogger and I should be able to go out into cafés around the world with confidence and ladies on my arms, but the reality is dating is a scary thing. As I waited for my date to show up, the story of the Stone Butch Daddy (SBD), my very first, first dates, went reeling through my mind. It wasn’t exactly a blind date, but it may as well have been. I was working the door at Miss Kitty’s Scratching Post, a monthly lesbian strip club in San Francisco, when we met. I wore a camo corset, lacy bottoms, fishnets, platform shoes and a sticker... Posted at 03:58 PM \| Permalink \| Comments: 4
	02/24/10 Pollute Thy Self The man in front of me at the grocery store the other night checked out with a baguette, two sticks of string cheese, an apple and a super sized tube of KY Jelly. I, on the other hand, had a cheese-free pizza and some Pamprin. Guess who’s having the better night? As I contemplated the various ways his evening might turn out, I began to formulate ways to make my evenings alone even better. I’ve always been a fan of masturbation but part of what’s made this dry spell so hard is that I just haven’t had it in me lately, pun intended. Seeking ways to spice up my self-love life, I contacted Babeland, a store “offering information and encouragement to women who want to explore their sexuality.”... Posted at 11:36 AM \| Permalink \| Comments: 0
	02/16/10 Time for a Game Plan Last September, I went on date after date, sometimes two in a day, making my way through the singles in town. It didn’t really work out with anyone, but I assumed I was open to more than just sex because I was out there, giving it a go. That assumption stayed until two things happened last week. First, I realized it had been 3 months since I went on a date. I have hooked up with women since then, but it has all been the main show with no romantic prologues. Second, Token Straight Guy pointed out how ridiculous it is that a quality I admire in a gal is that she doesn’t live in town. I always attributed this to me wanting to avoid conflicts in my life, but when I got excited to pursue someone because she’s moving out of state, I realized it may be more of... Posted at 11:21 AM \| Permalink \| Comments: 0
	02/10/10 Alone in a Crowded Bar Living in a small college town, the hetero-homogeny of bars frustrates me. Sure, we queers have a tiny closet to dance in on weekends and our night at the big club once a month, but other than that we’re on our own. It’s not that I don’t enjoy breeders, it’s just that I’m tired of watching them hook up night after night while I go home to Patches, my beat up old teddy bear. Token Straight Guy and Lee, our good buddy, took me skiing for my first time since I was 7 this weekend. After three hours of shockingly good sportsmanship, I left the boys to their black diamond runs and made my way to the bar in the lodge. A tatted up guy next to me suggested I have a “Face Plant” – rum, brandy, mint schnapps and hot... Posted at 02:24 PM \| Permalink \| Comments: 0
	02/03/10 The Dark Side of the Wave After a tsunami hits, the most damage is done by the dark side of the wave quickly receding back into the ocean depths, taking everything in its path with it. Past experiences have taught me that the same concept is true for floods of emotions. I once allowed my emotions to be released with full force, and went a bit crazy when I had to reign them back in. This is the story of my own emotional Tsunami: We were interning at Curve magazine when we met. I vividly remember my reaction to her walking in late to our first day’s orientation. She looked like someone I knew, someone I’d always known, and I immediately thought to myself that I was in serious trouble. We spent months sending hilarious and flirtatious emails to each other across the table... Posted at 03:27 PM \| Permalink \| Comments: 0
	01/27/10 Annoyance is an Emotion For the third time in as many months, I took a girl home for casual sex, only to find out she wished for something more formal. She pursued me all night, asked me to come inside and then just laid there, curled in my lap, talking about her vulnerability after her break up and desire to find a new girlfriend. I expected the throw-me-on-the-couch-and-fuck-me night she promised, but instead I played therapist once again. Not that I mind being there for people, I’m just tired of doing it half naked with bluvaries. I’m a courageous person, but I don’t have the kind of resilience it takes to constantly fall in and out of love. Friends of mine go from one relationship to the other, some of them even with overlap. After each relationship ends, they boldly... Posted at 12:10 PM \| Permalink \| Comments: 0
	01/19/10 Ditchbanking Ditchbank [dɪtʃbæŋk], v., to drive to the country, park on the bank of a ditch and have sexual intercourse. In the small farming town where I grew up, we have this fabulous phenomenon called ditchbanking. Having nothing to do for entertainment, we have a lot of sex. Having no where to go without familial units present, we are forced to have said sex in cars in the country. You ain’t lived until you’ve been crammed into a small cab, country music crooning late hour love songs, Coors Light cans and shotgun shells at your feet, the smell of cow manure from the local feedlot mixing with essence of Marlboro, your head pounding from hitting the exposed door handle over and over again. Those were the days. I lost my virginity, some dignity and... Posted at 11:33 AM \| Permalink \| Comments: 3
	01/13/10 Partially Exposed Sometimes I forget that people I know read this blog regularly. Last week, after the blog went live, I had about five friends email me to “check-in.” One of those people was Mamacita, a dear older friend who is like my mother, that is if my mother and I talked about our sex lives. Turns out she’s bookmarked the blog and reads it every week. Mamacita said she loved my “sexentures” but was worried about one in particular. She wasn’t judging my decision to sleep with The Wind, but was concerned about the outcome of it. This sentiment seemed to be the same with all my friends, especially those I talked to personally. Only one person commented on the fact that I hooked-up with three people in one week, yet everyone had something to say... Posted at 03:17 PM \| Permalink \| Comments: 1
	01/05/10 My Inner Romantic Peeks Out December was full of potentially dramatic situations, yet somehow it stayed drama free. This wasn’t due to my ability to avoid conflict as much as my ability to shut off emotionally. This was both a benefit and a curse as I concluded the month by hooking up with three different women in one week. The first was a topless dancer in a gay bar in San Diego, the second was a good friend, and the third was The Wind. Yes, The Wind. As in my ex. As in the one I retrieved my dildo from in my first blog “Back in the Harness Again.” As in the one who I went through months of therapy and meditation to move on from. Talk about pushing the drama potential. I’d been doing so well at having non-emotionally attached sex, it was a shock to let myself go with... Posted at 10:34 AM \| Permalink \| Comments: 2

Lesbian sex and dating