Until I Became a Mother
Supposedly, all women have a motherly instinct. For a long time, I thought I had been born without one
When I was younger, I never imagined myself growing up and having a family. I knew that I wanted to get married someday (to a woman of course), but that was it. I never played with a doll and pretended that it was my baby. I never stuck a pillow under my shirt and pretended to be pregnant. I never did these things because I couldn’t relate to them. And, as I grew older, that never went away. Having children always seemed like a foreign concept to me. Unlike all of my friends, I didn’t yearn to be pregnant and give birth. I wanted nothing to do with it. As far as I was concerned, my biological clock was broken.
Of course, all of that changed when Maggie was born. The next thing I knew, I was changing diapers in a flash and rocking her to sleep at night. I became a stay-at-home mom, organized play dates and took Maggie for walks in the park. Now, I read to her, watch movies with her, take her for drives when she’s having trouble napping, scold her, hug and kiss her, and do all the things mothers naturally do for their children.
People often ask me if my wife and I are going to have another child. I laugh and say,“I’m still getting used to having this one.” They also ask me if I am going to carry the next child. I laugh again. I don’t plan on getting pregnant anytime soon, that’s something that hasn’t changed. But my outlook on having children sure has. Maggie has brought so much joy and laughter into our home that I couldn’t imagine my life without her. She may not have any of my genes, but she’s still my daughter. When I look at her, I feel a connection that I can quite describe or even begin to put into words.
I guess I had that motherly instinct inside me all along.