Please, Talk About Our Two Mom Family
If there isn’t a lesbian on the show we don’t have time for it.
In a world where most couples sit down at 8:30 to binge watch until midnight night after night, and blame their exhaustion on their kids, Vicky and I had to put a filter on what shows we watch.
If there isn’t a lesbian on the show: we don’t have time for it. You have to draw the line somewhere.
Unfortunately, #BuryYourGays struck again last night in the season finale of a favorite Australian TV show.
Shocked and appalled, my wife walked around our 2-floor home office in “How could they…?” delirium. Every conversation included a “recent news” feed of social media updates she’d seen in the aftermath of a press release confirming the highly famed actress officially left the show.
I tend towards apathy, cynicism and callousness so it won’t surprise you that in 100% of my responses I shrugged an “I told you so”. (Leave me alone, I’m still dealing with leftover Grey’s Anatomy trauma.)
The truth is, no one really gets to be permanently happy and in love in dramas. Season after season, writers cash in on the make-up/break-up, super-happy/cheat, back together/die sequence.
It’s not a hate crime, heterosexual relationships aren’t safe either.
But that’s just TV. In real life, there is a lot of positivity we could acknowledge in the moments (at least before) our escape to fiction.
In the shock and horror of recent hate bills, hate crimes, and offensive leaders, you could delight in the number of people who have changed their profile photo and shared posts to show their support for the abused and the fallen. It speaks to our evolution and the high places we will eventually end up if we do as Michelle Obama says and take the high road.
With so many international celebrities and incidents to quote, we mustn’t forget how much of a change agent we can be at street level.
Happily, I had at least three families where children of an adopted family touched my life.
Loving these families has led to an aching in my throat and a dizziness of rage when people have, at times, indicated in conversation to me that being adopted “isn’t the same.”
(Even if you actually believed that, how can you possibly think spreading such messages adds any good to the world?)
100% of the time, I err on the side of abrasive in order to make sure I help counter these[uninformed] comments.
It’s happened recently when I’m standing right in front of people I love, and their kids that I love, and the topic of a two mom family is avoided or stepped around as if we’re an anomaly in their lives.
They continue to use language that suggests all kids derive from a heterosexual partnering.
They don’t have books that include gay families on their shelves nor demand better books about gay families be written.
So dammit – if we aren’t raging for more lesbians to live longer on TV, couldn’t we at least all talk more about the joyous variety in family structures?
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