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01/06/10
My girlfriend is currently starring in a film here in New York City. It’s all very top secret and I’m very excited for her and the opportunity it represents for her artistic career. But, it also means she’s not been around much these past weeks and won’t be for a few more. I miss her, a lot, and that got me thinking about whether mine is simply a healthy feeling of her absence or some kind of co-dependent angst or existential loneliness.So, I’ve interrogated my feelings these past few days and come to the conclusion that what I’ve got is a healthy dose of plain ol’ missing my gal: the thrill of her flirty, filthy or informational emails, texts and phone calls; the feeling of her warm, sexy body against mine; having regular sex; playing together...
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12/29/09
I just received the print version of the 20th Anniversary January/February issue of Curve in the mail. My mother received it a week ago (she must live next door to the printing plant). She likes to read my articles and know what’s going on in my world. She reported last week that the new issue is “very lesbian” and I knew what she meant. So I’m posting in the spirit of Sex 101 and Curve’s winter guide to better orgasms.I’m multiorgasmic and a squirter, for lack of a better term. I hate “female ejaculation,” it sounds so clinical or like a fatal disease. Being multiorgasmic is great news for me, of course, but also for my girlfriend, who likes to boink me for hours. We took x-mas day off to be with each other and have lots of sex.I want to...
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12/23/09
My girlfriend and I were at a reading the other night—a friend was reading her piece from Best Lesbian Erotica 2010 at KGB Bar in Manhattan. We arrived early, well actually right on time, but early for the New York lesbo crowd. We, me, my girlfriend and our mutual friend, were getting comfortable in our seats when I woman I barely recognized came over and gave me a kiss and a very familiarly caressed my face. She disappeared to another part of the bar just as quickly as she appeared.Now, my girlfriend is the jealous type. She’s not a maniac about it—but jealous all the same. And she knows I have “a past.” In any case when I told her that the woman who just kissed me was someone who had been a fuck buddy many, many years ago (so long ago that I met the chick...
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12/16/09
It was inevitable. One of us farted in front of the other. I don’t know who started it and I refuse to names names or blame either of us specifically. I just know it happened and it broke loose the whole passing gas issue for us. Thank goodness!Last night at a holiday party a guy in a straight marriage said that the family that passes “wind” together stays together. And that pretty much sums it up for me and my gal. Come on, let’s admit it, flagellation is such a social taboo yet everyone does it. It’s a sure bet that someone is going to fart in yoga class. Am I right? Or in bed asleep. Or during sex. Or….My girlfriend and I laugh about it—not necessarily because it’s “naughty”, but because of how stupid it is to feel so...
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12/09/09
My sister is here from the Midwest spending the Thanksgiving holiday with me in Brooklyn. My girlfriend and I hosted a vegetarian and vegan no turkey day in her honor (and for our other vegetarian and vegan friends). Pretty much all of our unaffiliated female friends, meaning those who are estranged from their families for whatever reason or can’t afford travel prices to visit somewhere else, gathered at my apartment in Flatbush to un-celebrate Thanksgiving. Really we were celebrating each other and our friendship, a family of friends and friends who are family.And this is where it got a bit hairy between me and my girlfriend a few months ago when my sister made her airline reservations. I told my girlfriend I considered her family. She had to go away and think about it—it...
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12/02/09
I had the chance to travel with my girlfriend to one of her plays this fall. Her show was playing in Canada and she had planned to be there for three weeks. I needed to get away and thought a working vacation with my sweetie—and seeing her work in action—would be ideal. I also thought it would be a good test to see how we travel together since I am planning a few apartment swaps next year starting with Paris and Berlin in the spring and I hope for her to join me.We were both excited. Some of our friends got weird, saying traveling was like living together. No, it’s like traveling together! I found us an apartment swap in a deluxe condo in downtown Vancouver with a couple who wanted to see Brooklyn. After eight or so hours in the air, we arrived at the door of our...
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11/25/09
“I’m still really interested in having sex with you,” I told my girlfriend very recently one morning after we had gone to bed early, dog-tired, sore from head to toe and one too many times turning away from each other in bed and slipping into a deep sleep. “I still want to have mad, steamy, hot sex with you—we can’t just keep sleeping next to each other and making the excuse of being tired from working all the time, even if we are.” Her face lit up—I think she had started to believe LBD was setting in. No way Jose. Been there, done that. I’m very interested in sex, thank you very much, and have no intention of letting it die in this relationship.While there are many reasons to “put off” sex or save it for another time, I...
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11/18/09
I’m broke, busted, have no dinero. My fulltime day job, turned part time job, just got cut. I’m thinking about alternatives, including getting into a roommate situation to lower my rent even though I’ve never had a roommate in my life. I’ve lived with girlfriends, but never had a roommate proper.The other day my therapist asked if I were considering moving in with the Playwright to consolidate expenses. I said no. She asked me why not, I’m pretty sure she was playing devil’s advocate. I said neither of us has the intention of moving in together any time soon and it would be a recipe for disaster. We’re still getting to know each other—a financial crisis is no time to rent a U-Haul.A friend said, “Yeah, but six months is like two and...
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11/11/09
So it’s been going along swimmingly, this relationship thing. I’m really into it. And I want to say that while for several years I was not at all ready to start what could turn into a committed relationship, I feel I am in that place now. But, I also know it ain’t for everyone.I’m all for casual sex, one night stands, poly and other open relationships, and anonymous encounters. Make no mistake; I’m no proselytizer about monogamy. I just know me. And, while I did “play the field” for a few years and was totally skeptical about whether I would ever be interested in or capable of committing to one woman after two decades of unsatisfying serial monogamy, it is indeed very satisfying knowing that there is one person out there in this big scary world...
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11/04/09
I find that when I am in a good place mentally, having a good relationship, traveling for fun and business, successfully writing and publishing, etc., former friends and lovers come out of the woodwork they burrowed into when things were not so good and I really needed them. And, since all of my business is broadcast on Facebook and otherwise online, it’s easy enough to find out what I am doing and what my “status” is in just about every realm.So when my relationship with the Playwright went public and it looked promising that it was a very good and healthy step in my life, the London Bird reared her head and my phone rang. Oh my, that trip to New York she couldn’t make last fall because she had rekindled her romance with an on-again-off-again lover,...
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