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04/02/10
I was at my girlfriend’s house over the weekend. She has a roommate. The roommate is very nice and very accommodating. She likes me and I like her. But, it’s a little awkward having sex at their apartment.See, I live alone, and anything goes when my girlfriend is over at my place. We have free reign—and take advantage of that. However, the way her apartment is set up is railroad style, like many New York apartments. It’s one long stretch of space with several little rooms off to the sides. And, in this case, their actual bathroom is separate from the water closet, so her roommate has to go through my girlfriend’s bedroom (loft really) to get to the toilet.This fact makes it a bit uncomfortable for my gal to engage in sex when we are up in her loft bed. Not...
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03/24/10
There is a yearlong series of events in NYC sponsored by the Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies at the City University of New York Graduate Center. The series is called "In Amerika They Call Us Dykes" and I am not either endorsing or not endorsing it. I’m just saying that my girlfriend and I went to the second panel event in the series, one about lesbian spaces in the 70s last Friday night. The organizer is a younger PhD candidate with a heap of über impressive credentials that at any age are enviable, but for a dyke in her late 20s/early 30s are incredible to me! Anyhow, there was the usual academic/activist/literary crowd there. I'm pointing this out AGAIN because it's really demoralizing to have the same women show up at various events around NYC all the...
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03/19/10
There are two issues I want to address in this post: sex and humorless lesbians.I find that the better a dyke’s sense of humor, the better the sex. This is certainly the case with me and my girl. She’s a comedic playwright with a twisted sense of humor and I’m a total pervert with a wry and wild sense of humor. And, not only do we have a general sense of humor, but can also laugh about ourselves. I find mirthless lesbians pretty damn hard to take (and I am sure they are not easily taken, in any sense). We have fabulous sex, me and my gal; we laugh in bed (or wherever we happen to be getting it on) and generally have a great time all around.
I know dykes have been much maligned in the humor department, but many of the stereotypes and other myths about the legendary...
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03/11/10
My gal and I were at a reading at bluestockings bookstore on the Lower East Side the other evening. The Reader that night is a friend and colleague, lost and found. Her new-ish girlfriend is another mutual friend, not real familiar, but we all know each other from “around.” Around meaning the Brooklyn lesbian community and the New York City literary and arts scene.The event was a big deal: our friend the Reader is a pretty (in)famous writer, poet and spoken word artist. Her girlfriend was beaming proudly and snapping photos relentlessly—of the crowd, her girlfriend reading, of the store, of anything and everything to commemorate this momentous undertaking.Our friend the Reader’s girlfriend chatted with us, addressing us thus: “Hello you two people who are...
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03/03/10
My gal came back from the Western U.S. to one very eager Hooked-Up blogger! I was waiting for her at her apartment in Bushwick. When she came through the door at about 8:30 a.m., she was exhausted, not just form an overnight flight, but also from dealing with her family.I huddled her into bed for a much-needed nap. When she awoke, our mutual pent up desire led us into hot, steamy raucous sex. We were fucking for hours and there was even a little canoodling and cooing that we were glad to see and hold each other again.Now neither of us is big on canoodling or cooing, but two weeks is a bit of time. In the time she had been gone I had had a few new articles published in various publications, received some new and interesting writing gigs and had several run-in and near misses with the...
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02/19/10
“Happy FUCK Valentine's Day my love!” This message came to me Sunday morning via email from my girlfriend, who is visiting her family of origin in the Western U.S. And I completely agree with its sentiments.Last year on Valentine’s Day my girlfriend and I had known each other less than two months and, as we found out, we both despise Valentine’s Day: the crass commercialization of it, yes, but also the faux romance of the once-a-year “holiday.” So, we had our own little anti-Valentine’s Day dinner with a few friends.Since my gal is away and I am here in Brooklyn, I don’t have any plans for V-Day, and don’t really care to make any. I have too much to do—real quality stuff in my life and I don’t have room for bullshit. I...
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02/10/10
People often think having sex wearing socks is not sexy. And it’s kinda not, but it is really funny and what’s more fun than having sex and laughing at the same time?And, if you’re prone to fetishes, you can even have a stock of socks to match your sex toys.In any case, my girlfriend and I often catch ourselves in a sexual scenario where we are totally naked except for our socks. And it makes us laugh and also question whether we need to take them off or not.But, we live on the East Coast after all and winters here are pretty chilly. And Brooklyn apartments, which we both have, are notoriously unreliable in terms of heat during the cold weather. However, if we’re already in the middle of sex, what’s the point of taking them off? Except we obviously...
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02/03/10
My girlfriend and I have decided—or perhaps we decided somewhat by default quite a while ago, which is why we are still together—we don't need a relationship that is less than wonderful. I’ve come to find that I really like spending a lot of time with my girlfriend. It may sound funny since we have been in a monogamous relationship for over a year at this point, but I never saw myself wanting to spend more time with one other person than spending time alone ever again. I mean c’mon, I’m 46 years old and “set in my ways” some of which are pretty quirky. But, this realization also does not mean isolating ourselves from the world, hibernating together or being a reclusive, nesting lesbian couple who never goes out without other...
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01/27/10
…Continued“I wonder who else is going to be at K and C’s dinner party next weekend. I hope no one we don’t want to see,” I said somewhat rhetorically to my girlfriend Saturday morning. We had begun our new routine of spending an hour on weekend mornings walking together through Prospect Park. When she stays over at my place, that is. If we’re at her place on a weekend morning, I’m not sure if we’re gonna walk anywhere. But if we do it will be in Maria Hernandez Park.So, this pricked up my girlfriend’s ears and she replied, “Well, I hope it’s not anyone you’ve had sex with.” She said it in jest, but there was a somewhat serious edge to her statement.I know she is not an overly jealous possessive freak. She has...
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01/20/10
My girlfriend and I are finally off probation.By “probation” we meant—half joking and half serious—if we could hold it together for a year, we’d probably be good to go with nothing left to hide. My girlfriend recently told me she has no “buts” about me and I told her I had found no “bad brew” between us—no trigger points or personality clash that would make it impossible for us to be together.But, we know so many lesbians who have difficult relationships with their girlfriends, significant others, spouses, life-partners, etc. because of what we call the “buts”. There are big buts and small buts, however, all the “buts” have the same impact.The “buts” go something like this: “I am not...
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