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12/07/11
I hadn’t spent “quality time” with my girlfriend for a few weeks. I had an event after work every night for a week: a theater date, a Toshi Reagon concert, a reading at bluestockings, etc. Then she had her own stuff that kept her out late every night the next week and we both had our Saturday and Sunday packed. So, at the close of the weekend, in bed in a state of somnolence I said, “Let’s have a laundry date.”
“What?!” my girlfriend asked.
I said, “We need to get all our laundry done or I won’t have anything to wear the week of all the work-related holiday parties I am obligated to attend.”
Now, mind you, we both generally wear a uniform of an Old Navy T-shirt and jeans. We both prefer black tees, but I...
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11/18/11
The other night my gal and I crawled into bed together at the end of a very long day. I had come from staffing an on-the-job event late into the night and she had got off late, too, from her crummy per diem job.
I was exhausted and my out-of-shape body felt the weight of 48 years of various sorts of psychological and physical abuse, the indignity of a lifetime of slave wage labor and other psychological and physical degradation.
My girl is a day worker whose boss doesn’t give her a lunch break or even time to pee. I am a cog in the corporate machine, just another warm body filling a seat and grinding away at something that doesn’t really matter in the larger scheme of things.
I looked at my girlfriend and sighed. “I’m so tired, so very...
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10/24/11
A recent Telegraph article referred to as the “female sperm” news, has got the lesbian community buzzing about creating families without bio-men, exalted as a lifelong lesbian dream come true, getting lesbians excited about being “baby daddies”, etc.
Parthenogenesis, as we called this sort of science way back when, was a lesbian’s dream. Today though, it totally scares the crap outta me! Because although as a lesbian-feminist is seems like an advance for women to (potentially) own both our sexuality and reproduction, it seems to me it's actually the beginning (or continuation) of the end to an autonomous queer female culture. The loss of an intelligent, independent, politically active, adult, childless (or childfree) lesbian culture whose members...
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09/12/11
I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this, but I had a partial hysterectomy two days after I met my girlfriend. Since we didn’t know each other except for one drive-by coffee date, she very politely said she would email me sometime during my recovery (which ended up being four weeks) to see how I was faring.My hysterectomy was the best fucking that ever happened to me! It stemmed the constant heavy, endless, everyday bleeding that had been going on for nearly two years and which my gynecologist tossed off as “Oh, you’re just peri-menopausal.” It took three years, two D&Cs, hormones, acupuncture, customized herbal concoctions, horrible mood swings and more until I finally went for a second opinion to a feminist sex educator and registered nurse...
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07/08/11
I haven't been to a Pride march for years, mostly because they are corporate-sponsored events that lack any sort of meaning to me and any resonance or recognition of the political history on which the pride parade, at least in New York, is based.Of course this year, at least in New York, there was the passage of the marriage equality legislation on the eve of Pride to celebrate—if you are of the marriage-supporting kind and if you didn't read the fine print of that "victory." The legislation allows religious organizations, non-profits and businesses to deny recognition, benefits and services to gay couples. Ergo gay and straight marriage are not equal in New York State. So much for the New York "victory."Elsewhere in N.Y.C, QuORUM (Queers Organizing for...
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06/13/11
You know how people often ask a lesbian couple or two lesbian friends if they are sisters—meaning blood relatives, biological siblings?Well, I was on the subway with my gal last night, the L train heading into Brooklyn and we were sitting across from what seemed to be a heterosexual duo. They were a hipster couple, and I use the term “couple” loosely because although they were tonguing each other, the dude was barely north of gay. They eventually got off at the stop before ours, in a much hipper neighborhood.The woman in the pair caught our eyes and asked if we were sisters. “You have the same nose,” she smiled, “that’s how I came to my conclusion.”Well, as it turns out my girl and I do have similar size and shaped noses, but we...
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05/18/11
We are finally home, thank goodness. Hello Brooklyn, the creative buzz and cool energy of New York City and our own comfortable apartment. Goodbye suburban dystopia.Meeting my girlfriend’s family went well, considering.Considering that her mother had our whole stay mapped out, chock full of activities and planned to the nth degree. That we stayed in her sister’s house that made me—quote literally—ill, and we were “captive” in some relative or another’s car for the entire trip from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. A few breakthroughs: Her mom said she wants a photo of the two of us to put on her fridge, and for us to appear with the mom and the sister and brother-in-law in a professional family photo. That the religious auntie who was not “supposed”...
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04/07/11
Tomorrow my girlfriend and I leave for a five-day visit to her hometown in the western U.S. It’s finally time for me to meet la mia ragazza la famiglia.Her family did not take her coming out to them 15 years ago very well at all. Being homosexual was the worst thing she could do in the realm of my girlfriend’s parent’s very narrow view on and parameters around intimate pairings.My girlfriend’s father has been dead for over two decades, but her mother persisted in her homophobia until maybe a year-and-a-half ago when a brick in the wall cracked.She’s Italian, the mother, and when I was in Bologna, I sent, via my girlfriend, a message I had found on Italian Google, “Buona Festa della Mamma.” It was as simple as that: “Happy Mother’s...
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03/23/11
I had an interesting recent Saturday, as in hmm, veddy, veddy interesting. Went to a neighborhood in Brooklyn used to live in. It’s totally off the beaten path, certainly from where I live now, but really from everywhere in New York. It’s an inlet on the East River and there is no subway there, only buses.
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03/16/11
A reader recently asked, “Can you write on how a girl in N.Y.C. can get laid without using craigslist? I really need to get laid!!!!”
So, below is my little bit of my advice and my Top 10 list of places in New York City to find lesbians who like (and want to) have sex.
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