Mar 16, 2011
04:12 PM

Written by Request

Written by Request

A reader recently asked, “Can you write on how a girl in N.Y.C. can get laid without using craigslist? I really need to get laid!!!!”
So, below is my little bit of my advice and my Top 10 list of places in New York City to find lesbians who like (and want to) have sex.

My first, and most important, piece of advice, is that you have to ask a woman to have sex, come home with you, shack up in an hourly motel, meet in a swanky hotel or whatever. You will never get laid if you don’t ask.

That said, here are some places, parties and events to actually meet lesbians in N.Y.C. who might be amenable to having sex:

1. Rebel Cupcake: This is Bevin Branlandingham's monthly flamboyant queer dance party for all shapes & flavors. Find info about this monthly party at It takes place 2nd Thursdays, 10-2am at Sugarland, 221 North 9th St in Brooklyn.

2. Speaking of Fat Femmes, you most definitely need to check out the plus-size vintage shop, Re/Dress, both the store and the events that take place there ( I find the sisters at Re/Dress, whether shopping or gathering for a Spelling Bee fundraiser for a community member, are sex-positive and like to have a rollicking good time.

3. Hang out at the fair trade and radical activist bluestocking bookstore. It’s got tables and chairs and a few comfy cushiony seats and soon the café will be back in working order. You can attend lesbian readings/performances there or just sit and  “write” in your journal (or Macbook) while scoping out the lesbian cuties:

4.  You know for certain the Sapphic sisters shopping at Babeland ( are looking for a good time. Hang around any (or all) of the three locations (Soho, Brooklyn, or the original store on the Lower East Side) Finger the merch, chat up the staff, and stock up on both info about local queer events and lube—for when you do get lucky!

5. The NYC LGBTQ Community Center is on 13th Street between 7th and 8th Avenues. Women don’t necessarily go there to get laid, but we go there…in droves. So bust a move, sister, and be on the lookout to pick up a hot, sex-positive gal. You can also pick up pile of flyers, postcards and other information about what lesbian stuff is happening in the city on the second floor. Of what is know as simply The Center (

6. If you really want to get laid, the monthly SPAM party is for you. Dubbed “Brooklyn’s Nastiest Queer Party,” the queer ladies in the Big Apple go there expressly to have sex. It’s at an undisclosed location, but convenient space in Brooklyn. See for deets and then call the hotline for location.

7. Sit in any independent coffee shop, vegan bakery, or vegetarian café and you’ll likely spot sisters in the life. Be bold and if one strikes your fancy, pop the (causal sex) question.

8. Go the lesbian theatre. The Wow Café Theatre ( is made up a mostly dykes, bisexual feminists and the occasional transman. Go see a show and hang around afterward to see if there’s anyone to take home with you.

9. Speaking of theatre, there are a bunch of upcoming shows with lesbian content at the NYC FRIGID Festival ( Grab your BFF, pick a show (or two or three) and buy a ticket, they are all priced under $20. There are sure to be other sisters in the audience who are looking for a little action, too.

10. Queer Memoir. Most of the queers who attend QM ( are serious about sex. They have it. They like it. And they are not afraid of being asked to “do it."

Check out these suggestions, Dear Anonymous, and if you are still having trouble getting laid in this city, I will personally introduce you to someone.

Good luck!

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