September 2008


Facebook Makes It Official

So the Playwright and I officially announced our relationship to the world—via Facebook.Yes, that’s right, we are “official” because we are connected through that monstrous social networkOur relationship had matured to the point where it was obvious we were no longer just “casually” dating. I would call her when I was anywhere in Manhattan near—or near a train going to—Paragraph, the NYC space for writers where she writes. For example, one night I called her after an all-day public relations event in SoHo. I was near the N/R train and would be in Union Square in about a half hour, was she breaking for dinner and did she want to grab a turkey burger with me at The Stand. “I mean ya gotta eat,” I told her. She said sure she had...

Posted at 03:37 PM | Permalink | Comments: 6


Not So Casual Dating

I am still dating the playwright. Some of our friends have already planned our wedding and, while she has ceased letting some of them know she has a girlfriend, yes we have officially become “gfs.” My straight male friend Malcolm predicted exactly that it would happen after the third time we had sex. It was actually at least month, years in lesbian terms or so my more eager—and younger—lesbian friends tell me! I don’t know from lesbian years anymore. Just being cautious and taking it slow.We are way past the “Make Out Date” stage. It’s actually quite nice to be dating another writer. I’ve always dated (and had relationships with) professionals. Not that I am not professional, in fact I have worked in corporate America for at 10+...

Posted at 03:42 PM | Permalink | Comments: 8


Casual Dating?

I had been dating a biracial woman, with a young daughter for a few weeks, maybe a month. Miss Thing wanted a relationship, I didn’t. It was awkward. I have to say the cultural divide was, although interesting, difficult to transverse. She was hot and very sure of herself. And sure about what she wanted. Which I guess was me, at least in the moment.I met her daughter and we each stayed over at the other’s apartment one time. Her front window looked directly into the apartment of an old partner, a very abusive ex with whom I had a long-term relationship in my mid-20s. I couldn’t deal on various levels. Miss Thing was not appreciative that she had invested time, energy and emotion in me and then I wasn’t interested in an exclusive relationship. In fact, I was...

Posted at 02:29 PM | Permalink | Comments: 5


Hot Butch Looking For Some Fun - w4w

40 something, in shape butch is looking for some femme fun this afternoon I'll strap it on, fuck you silly, and send you home. your pic will get mineThe above is the ad I answered on Craigslist after my online butt fucking discussion companion disappeared.The hot butch turned out to be someone I did not know personally, but I knew of her. She was a Facebook friend with whom I had many friends (that I actually do know) in common. I was thrilled to find out that this big shit butch, in the New York City queer underground sex scene, wanted to meet me.We set a time and place to have a drink to see if we clicked. I had to bail at the last minute because I was swamped at work and could not get back to Brooklyn in time to make the meeting. I told her to keep me in mind should another window...

Posted at 01:53 PM | Permalink | Comments: 21


A Meditation on the State of the Lesbian Hookup

 I’ve been pondering the idea of the lesbian hookup for some time.  Mostly because I cannot find a steady stream of lesbians interested in hookups (vs. monogamous relationships). And not for lack of trying. I do not flatter myself that I am someone every lesbian in NYC (and beyond) wants to be with in any capacity, but there is in fact a certain steady interest in me on other fronts, namely the monogamous dating relationship.I do know there are pockets of the lesbian community where being poly is a way of life, often even while having a primary partner: The fat dyke/trans community, the BDSM community, the sex-positive activist/erotica writer/advice columnist/blogger crowd and the like. But, for plain (though not vanilla) single lesbians who are neither followers nor...

Posted at 05:28 PM | Permalink | Comments: 15


Butt Bumping

Since my doc still had concerns about vaginal sex, I had the great idea that anal sex was the way to go. Since I like butt fucking I figured it was a way to get my rocks off and keep healing at the same time.I put an ad up on Craigslist with a headline that went something like “Lesbo seeks anal fun w/other lesbo with strap on cock” and went on to further exclaim “Fortysomething tomboyish femme looking to get fucked where the sun don't shine so to speak. Sister, if you can strap it on and fuck me good in the ass, I'm all yours. I'm a cute white gurl living alone in FlatBUSH. Write for more info.”Yeah, it’s easy to be as bold as Oz behind the computer screen. And I had the usual parade of men, both ones who wanted to fuck me and those who wanted to get fucked...

Posted at 07:57 PM | Permalink | Comments: 4


Lip’s Tips: Curve Personals Advice

Single ladies: consider this a Christmas present. A little something for you from Lipstick.

Posted at 03:37 PM | Permalink | Comments: 10


A Sexy Redhead?

My doc was still ordering abstinence when I went out with a few mis-matches. Then I met a musician, a totally sexy and sultry redhead who was a bit ambivalent about the whole online dating thing. In fact, she was ambivalent about dating period because of a somewhat recent breakup and she faded in and out of correspondence. Then one day she came back with a vengeance and took me up on my offer to get together.We met at a kitschy East Village eatery where I think a lot of first date type meetings take place. She was a total hottie in person, quite the conversationalist, funny, self deprecating and I could tell she liked me. A lot. Neither of us wanted the date to end. I suggested we grab coffee at a funky place nearby and hang out a bit longer. We got our lattes to go and walked across to...

Posted at 06:33 PM | Permalink | Comments: 6


Bye Bye, Birdie

SO, my East Coast gal pal met my plane at Newark airport. And when I say she met my plane—she was on the gangway right in the doorway since she worked at the airport and held certain privileges there. We rushed through passport control and customs, grabbed my luggage and were suddenly in her van on our way to my place in Brooklyn.She asked about my trip and gently broached the topic of my English Bird. I said we had a fine time together and not to worry about it. She said she wasn’t going to ask details and I didn’t offer any. We got to my apartment in Flatbush and, both exhausted, fell into bed. In the morning she drove me into “the city” (as Brooklynites refer to Manhattan) and dropped me at my office before heading back to Jersey, where she lived.I was...

Posted at 05:27 PM | Permalink | Comments


The Summer of My English Bird

Ten days with a U.K. "pen pal." What would you do?

Posted at 04:26 PM | Permalink | Comments: 6