Dr. Frankie's Love Seat
Dr. Frankie Bashan
Dear Dr. Frankie, I'm too clingy!

10/01/12

Dear Dr. Frankie, I'm too clingy!

Dear Dr. Frankie, I tend to have an obsessive personality and get clingy whenever I have a crush or am infatuated with someone. I can't help myself, and it just takes over, even when I know I'm starting to smother people. Right now, I am in love with a singer-song writer I met through a friend. She is super friendly and affectionate, and welcomes me with hugs. Every time I go her concerts I try to hang around her as much as I can, and record all of her songs with my phone. I can sense that I'm starting to become a little much, but I don't know what to do. I don't want her to freak out and push me away, but on the other hand, I hang on to every bit of attention from her - what can I say, I just want to be loved. Of course, she's straight and has a boyfriend....

Posted at 05:53 PM | Permalink | Comments: 2

Dear Dr. Frankie, What if she has too much baggage?

09/04/12

Dear Dr. Frankie, What if she has too much baggage?

Dear Dr. Frankie, We never got to meet at the resent WW event but I feel like I know what you would say anyway. I've read everything you’ve written and I have listened to all your broadcasts. I recently ran into a dyke I met on OK Cupid two years ago. Initially she blew me off because I was too young, but this time she made a beeline to say hello.  We are both single. I had no hesitation about whether to go out with her, like I have had with this other woman I am sort of seeing but not so sure about. The OK Cupid woman came out in high school, loves women and has never doubted her sexuality. Her family is accepting and totally supports her. She's intelligent, well groomed, and loves her job as a social worker/life coach. The other woman came out late in life and...

Posted at 02:20 PM | Permalink | Comments: 2

Dear Dr. Frankie, My Relationships Never Last

07/31/12

Dear Dr. Frankie, My Relationships Never Last

Dear Dr. Frankie, One thing that I consistently see in the lesbian world is short lived relationships. I come from a world where my parents have been together for 52 years, have friends and siblings who have been together for 20 plus years, and really value lifelong commitments. My beef is that it seems that those are few and far in between in our community and would like to know why that is the case. Also, it would be interesting to learn how we as a community could do a better job of having said lifelong commitments. —Underwhelmed by Romance Dear Underwhelmed, I hear and agree with your frustrations. This is obviously a complex question with a more complex answer. Relationship failure is not unique to the gay community as heterosexual divorce rate is also climbing....

Posted at 12:21 PM | Permalink | Comments: 1

Dear Dr. Frankie, My Lover Won't Define the Relationship

06/19/12

Dear Dr. Frankie, My Lover Won't Define the Relationship

Dear Dr. Frankie, I became very good friends with a gal from work. (She is 45 and I am 58). We became very close and were both recovering from nasty breakups. My break up was from a girlfriend of 10 years, and hers was a breakup with her wife of 15 yrs. I have been single now for almost 3 years and she has been single for 1 1/2 years. Her ex is a doctor with a very dominating, controlling personality. This gal lives on her own and is trying to cope with raising her children, and dealing with her ex. About 3 months into our friendship she kissed me and things progressed slowly from there. We have now been very involved for about the last nine months. We are very deeply intimate, love hanging out with each other, and live separately. She has been clear with me from the first kiss...

Posted at 04:40 PM | Permalink | Comments: 3

Dear Dr. Frankie, My Girfriend Won't Stop Navel Gazing!

05/25/12

Dear Dr. Frankie, My Girfriend Won't Stop Navel Gazing!

Dear Dr. Frankie, I’ve been dating a great woman for a few months. I think we might have some long term potential but there are two major problems. She won’t stop talking about herself! I feel my eyes glaze over and try to redirect the conversation but it inevitably circles back to her. She is also insanely competitive with me. I adore her but this is a total drag—help! Dear Reluctant Competitor, This is a complaint I have heard before in lesbian couples. I suggest bringing your concern out into the open. Not talking about it won’t make it go away. Explain to her that it makes you feel uncomfortable and rather than encouraging sharing and dialogue, it actually shuts you down. Jealousy and unhealthy competition is toxic and will destroy a relationship....

Posted at 06:43 PM | Permalink | Comments