Too Many in the Club

LGBT Anagram



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LBGTQQIA2 –Lesbian, Bi, Gay, Trans, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, two spirits.  What? We have too many letters in our anagram. It is really hard to keep track of who is what.

 

There is a Q for questioning. Really? How bout a P for pondering? Or W for wishy-washy?  I think there is such a thing as being too inclusive. We are letting too many people into our club?  Time to shut the closet door.  Hey, if you have a question, fill out a form, I have a box you can put it in. 

 

Am I being too harsh?  Sorry. I do question myself sometimes.  Like, I will date a butch woman and when we break up, I will then go and date a femme woman. I go back and forth, between butch to femme. I’m a bisexual within the lesbian community.

 

What suits me now is a femme on the streets and a butch in the sheets. And believe me they are out there.  Some say I date straight women and make them gay, I say I date bisexual women and make them choose. 

 

We are all somewhat bisexual. I mean on the Kinsey sex scale we are all a unique number ranging from zero, being totally straight, to ten, being totally gay. Everybody falls uniquely in there somewhere. But if you add a few cocktails, that number has a tendency to fluctuate. Especially if you’re in Ptown.

 

My question is about what constitutes being butch or femme. 

 

Does butch mean being able to fix things? Is femme defined by carrying a purse? I carry a purse sometimes, but ask me what is in it:  A wrench, a golf ball, a wallet, gum, a knife and my glasses.  Is that butch or femme?

 

I think femme is wearing a dress every now and then without having to angst over it.  I don’t wear a dress every now and then.  I did attempt it a while ago when I was trying to be femme for my butch girlfriend. I was trying, that is the key word here. I had to try. 

 

I don’t think femmes have to try to be femme they just are.  I bought a dress and wore spanks – oh way too tight - oh Lordy after a half an hour in those tight girdley things, my left ankle blew out.  Too tight no thanks spanks. I had ridges going around my torso like a hot wheels track. I’ll pass.  I wore high heels and was walking like a drunk and/or crippled giraffe. 

 

Femmes keep their nails polished – butches bite their nails – just the other day I chewed off all of mine and that last baby toe was tough to get at.  Good thing I do yoga.

 

So with all these categories of butch and femme I’d say I am butch with femme tendencies.  Is there a letter for that? BwFT.


 

 

Poppy will be on tour with her Queer Queens of Qomedy with Vickie Shaw and Sandra Valls

Sept 15th Austin TX Spiderhouse Ballroom Sept 16th San Antonio Texas - Rivercenter Comedy Club  Sept 17th Houston TX - NeonBoots DanceHall  Sept 18th Tempt AZ - Tempe Improv   Sept 19th Dallas TX Sue Ellens- The Vixen -  visit  www.queerqueensofqomedy.com

 

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Poppy Champlin is a veteran comic who is crackerjack at improvising with her audience.  A Graduate of the University of Rhode Island with a BFA in Theatre – Poppy hit the ground running.  She hit Chicago and trained at Second City Training Center while performing and honing her craft of standup at comedy clubs such as Catch a Rising Star, The Improv, The Funny Firm and Zanies.  Her Television credits include: The Oprah Winfrey Show, The Joan Rivers Show, Rosie O’Donnell’s VH-1 – Comedy Central, Showtime and LOGO to name a few.  Poppy is also a producer of her own all lesbian touring comedy show called The Queer Queens of Qomedy. A regular performer in P-Town, and on Olivia cruises Poppy now resides in Rhode Island. 

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