50 Is The New 30

Drugs make me sick.


So, we as an LGBT community are getting older. I performed for a group called Silver Threads in P-town this year and I did an age countdown.  There were gals there in their 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and yes, one woman was in her 90’s. Morry, she had been a cop at the original stonewall riots in NYC.  It was an honor to meet her and have a dance and a laugh with her. So there are a bunch of different aging groups of lesbians: There are Silver Threads, Golden Threads and Hanging on by a Thread.  Hillary will protect our gay rights and make sure our gay and lesbian elderly housing gets some Federal funding. We need it.

I mean think about it, what if you are 87 years old and your girlfriend or wife decides to dump you for a younger 76 year old.  What are you going to do, move out? Get a new apt, or start a new mortgage?  No, you are going to go to the gay and lesbian elderly housing and, you don’t need to find a new girlfriend, they assign one to your room!  Oh joy.  She will be delivered to you.  Probably has a tracking number so you can look her up and see when she is arriving.  


Plus you get free meds.  I try not to take any pharmaceutical drugs but once in awhile I have to. I have Obama Care. I bought the CAP plan. Cheap Ass Plan, Meaning, I get my mammograms at the airport going through security. Check my bags check my boobs, why not?  And I have the CAP Dental plan as well, which means, (true story) I was getting a root canal this summer and the coverage ran out in the middle of it. We literally had to stop and wait until the money got replenished.

 Wow, talk about a Gov job. I feel like the drug companies are ruling the world.  They have us by the short hairs.  During the REP debate, every commercial was for another drug.  Do you suffer from shortness of breath? Well, try Duoflax; may cause temporary blindness, hallucinations, constipation and dry heaves, but you can breath easier. Really? Who wants all those side effects?  Is your uterus dropping? Do you need a vaginal mesh?  A what? And, if it is not a drug commercial it is a Law Firm commercial trying to get you to sue the drug companies - Have you or a loved one died from using flaxofluroflobbin? You could sue and win a big reward. Has your vaginal mesh dropped out of your uterus lately? You could sue the drug company. Call the law offices of Lichter, Colon, Grossman and How and get your uterus back, full of money.


Poppy will be on tour with The Queer Queens of Qomedy March 1-6 – Indianapolis, Columbus, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh and Baltimore.  Check the website here.

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The Queer Queens of Qomedy

About This Blog

Poppy Champlin is a veteran comic who is crackerjack at improvising with her audience.  A Graduate of the University of Rhode Island with a BFA in Theatre – Poppy hit the ground running.  She hit Chicago and trained at Second City Training Center while performing and honing her craft of standup at comedy clubs such as Catch a Rising Star, The Improv, The Funny Firm and Zanies.  Her Television credits include: The Oprah Winfrey Show, The Joan Rivers Show, Rosie O’Donnell’s VH-1 – Comedy Central, Showtime and LOGO to name a few.  Poppy is also a producer of her own all lesbian touring comedy show called The Queer Queens of Qomedy. A regular performer in P-Town, and on Olivia cruises Poppy now resides in Rhode Island. 

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