Pets And The Art Of Picking Up Girls

Do you use your dog to pick up girls?


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Sassafras Lowrey

Spring is in full bloom and summer is right around the corner. With the warm weather come more outdoors activities, and Pride festivities are only a couple of weeks away! If you’re looking to meet cute girls this spring, pets are great for breaking the ice if you're at all awkward when talking to someone new who you might be interested in dating, but sometimes they can also make things a little complicated. Here are a few of my favorite do’s and don’ts for incorporating your pets on dates, and helping your pets to help you make a good first impression with that hot girl you’ve been crushing on!

 Top 10 Do’s and Don’ts For Dating With Pets

1.Don’t let your dog try to make introductions for you - No matter how cute the girl is — and how much you want to run up to her, don't let your dog off leash and them run over to girls you like.

2. Do be sure to scoop the litter box before bringing a girl home for the first time. Nothing worse than walking into someone’s house and having the first introduction be the smell of the litter box.

3. Do invest in classes and training for your dog(s). Not only are misbehaved dogs likely to be a huge turnoff for lots of women, but training is a great way to spend quality time with your dog to make sure they don’t feel left out.

4. Don’t bring your dogs places that will stress them out — some dogs shine in crowded events like festivals, while other dogs are much happier in low-key settings. Know your dogs limits and don’t put them in situations where they will be uncomfortable, even if your adorable pup is a total girl magnet.

5. Don’t date anyone who doesn’t like your pets — no really! I’m a big believer in being honest and transparent about how important your pets are to you.

6. Do respect your date’s boundaries. Some people who are totally cool with pets might have some limits/boundaries like sharing the bed with your cat, or having your dog in the room while you’re making out or having sex. Try to communicate about needs/boundaries and find compromises that make you both (and your pets) happy.

7.  Do make an effort to connect with your crush’s pets — for me there are few things more endearing than when someone makes an effort to connect with my dogs and cats. I definitely suggest giving extra attention to the pets of someone you’re crushing on.

8.  Do groom your pets before the big date where they will be meeting your new sweetie-first impressions are important!

9. Don’t make disparaging remarks about your crush’s pets even if their dog isn’t well trained or their cat is kinda a jerk.  I’m not suggesting you lie.

10. Do be sure to pay attention to your pets even when on the prowl for a girlfriend. 

I’ve always made it a personal practice to never date anyone who doesn’t love animals as much as I do. Even people who love animals but for example have major allergies? Probably fundamentally incompatible with me for anything more than a one night stand. I think it’s important to be transparent from the beginning just how important your pets are to you, and the role they play in your life.

My partner and I are about to celebrate our 12th anniversary next month and thankfully we’re both ridiculously obsessed with our pets- and we made that clear to each other from the beginning of our relationship. I’ll never forget the night we first met (at a drag show, at pride because we’re really,really gay) I called home (I lived alone with my pets) to leave a voice mail (back in the day when anyone had a landline with an answering machine) to talk to my dogs on the answering machine to let them know that I had met someone and was going to be home late. My now partner thankfully found this ridiculous obsessive dog person gesture adorable. I definitely realize now it could definitely have scared someone away! Then again, anyone who didn’t understand my commitment to my dogs would definitely not have been partner material for me!

What about you? Do your dogs help you snag dates with cute girls? How do you help them to prepare for meeting your new date?

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