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Ask The Expert: Being The Third Wheel

Is being the third wheel really that bad?


Dear Carol,

I  am constantly feeling like a third wheel. My closest friend who I always hang out with is now in a relationship and whenever we go out I am the third wheel. My friends always include me but over 80% of them seem to be in a relationship and part of being single makes being the third wheel inevitable. I am enjoying my time as a single woman as for the past 12 years I was in a committed relationship and I am just not ready to move forward and want to enjoy being on my own. How can I feel better about my single status?  Is being a third wheel really so bad?


3rd Wheel


Dear 3rd Wheel,

You are just figuring out how to be with yourself after a 12-year relationship and until you figure that out you are not ready to be with someone else. You are very wise by taking your time and enjoying your life as a single woman. Honestly, your friends are probably enjoying having you around and getting to spend time with you as an independent woman.  Go to your favorite restaurant and ask for a table for one, have a glass of wine and order your favorite thing on the menu just because you can. You will be surprised how wonderful that feels. Go to the movies and actually pick one you want to see and don’t worry about what anyone else may think. Discover who it is you really are and what you really enjoy doing. Once you figure that out and you are ready to add a compliment to your life someone who enhances your life you will be ready to enter the dating world again. You will meet a wonderful partner that is right for you down the road but until then have fun and be proud to be single.



Carol Sugar-Burke is an Executive Matchmaker for NY’s premier gay and lesbian matchmaking service Bespoke Matchmaking.

For more information on Bespoke Matchmaking and to learn about our matchmaking service please click to visit our website.

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